Expectations

So yeah, I made 1st chair at state.

Go me.

But the least you guys could do is acknowledge it.

For those of you who actually read this, I don't mean you.

Most of you guys actually congratulated me and were full of good things to say.

But then, others say things like, "Good job doing what was expected." Or better, "I wasn't really surprised."

Really?

Seriously?

I've worked seven years...again...

SEVEN YEARS!!!

to get here. The least you could do is say, "hey man, good job."

I absolutely despise when people says things like that.

What can I possibly do to exceed your expectations?

Or will I only dissapoint you?

How could I ever be able to impress you, if this doesn't do it?

I just can't comprehend how to take away how people see me.

I know I'm good at things. I do. But, it's not because I just woke up one day and decided to be. I try so hard to be the best at everything I do. And it takes its toll.

I'm so tired all the time. I try not to show it, but I could probably sleep for an entire day. I don't ever stop working to get better. I hardly ever do anything for the fun of it.

The only thing that keeps me going is the whopping 3 or 4 of you who would actually stay there if I stopped trying.

It's for you guys and myself that I keep moving.

I hope you know how much I really do love you all.

You love us all?

Yes, I do.

>:(