Waiting...

Seems to be the theme for this week.

I just have to keep waiting for rehersal after rehersal.

I love them, but they are too long, and half the time I'm waiting for my turn to play because it's always another section that needs work.

Then, in between them, it's all boring waiting, sleeping, doing nothing.

There is a convention here with exhibits you can go see. Like music stuff, but they all suck, and the only french horns they have here are middle school ones that are terrible.

Argh!

Not much time left now...it's 12:11 so...like 5 hrs. Hopefully less.

The concert is in a couple hours, that should be fun. I love our music.

I wish you guys could come to this, dadgum competitions. With their getting in the way.

I'm happy you like Brooke so much.

Me too.

;)

Woah There...

I worried myself there for a minute.

Wow.

However, in the middle of all that I found something out about myself which makes me extremely happy.

No worries mate.

I'll always be here.

I had something here, but it didn't apply as I thought it did, so now it's gone.

Keep in mind...

don't be hypocritical, it really pisses me off.

Sometimes, I come off as a really big jerk.

Most likely because I am.

It happens.

Argh!

Mas o menos uno dio.

:(

lmfao

So I'm sitting here at Tan-Tar-A which is just a little ways outside of Lake of the Ozarks. It's a pretty nice resort.

Anywho...the only place there is free wi-fi is a bar next to the lobby.

The only people here right now are music teachers or people associated with music.

That being said the table next to me is full of drunk teachers.

This one lady just keeps singing very loud 70's songs.

OMGoodness, if only Mr. Bruner were here, his wife is, but I think she would be more of a mean drunk than funny.

Wow, I wish you guys could see this.

Friggin' hilarious.

Actually just one of you would be enough.

;)

A Reason

Well, that title isn't right.

More like reasons.

Clingy, deceptive, backstabbing, awkward, way different behind closed doors, and annoying.

You act so differently in person, then say mean things behind backs, that's probably the main one.

You try to move in when everyone knows what's going to happen. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Hate me if you want to, I could really not care any less.

I can find other people.

I already know I'm a jerk, so telling people after you read this that I'm a jerk won't do you any good.

I miss you already, and what, it's been like two days.

College is going to suck then.

Well, almost.

All-State is very tiring, three hour rehersals blow.

Waking up at 6:45 to play for an hour and then have a three hour break doesn't make any sense.

But, I'd do it everyday of my life.

Back to the beginning again, sorry.

Fake, Fake, Fake.

Maybe you and Icky should hook up...

Oh God! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little there.

That makes my stomach all jubbly.

*sigh*

Beatles...

I wanna hold your ha-a-and.

/0

(more yawning)

Crossed Statistics

Tonight was a piece of shit.

Mostly.

Fuck me.

Not in the sex way.

God damn you hottub cover, no one likes you anyways.

I did let my cat back in, but part of me hopes she dies right now.

Seriously? Fucking shitting in the floor?

What the fuck kind of animal does that?

She spent like fucking 6 years in a house. She knows better.

FUCK!

It was all building up to be so good. But no.

What's worse is tomorrow I have to write a whole essay.

It's good that it's something I have feelings about so it won't be too terrible.

I'm so very angry at myself right now.

It's nobody's fault but my own that that fucking cover broke.

Sorry to have to make you, Corey and Luke, help like that. Thank you so much.

At least I have some money saved.

Only two things saved me tonight.

Wednesday evening and you.

I'm so happy we chose this path.

Deep breath...and...

into tomorrow.

:{

(i need one getting smacked directly in the face)

Ever...

Feel like something has become a fad?

That there seems to be more and more people wanting to be on the inside?

It happens.

They'll get over it and we'll still be here.

I hope that's true.

I hope I'm we'll and not they'll.

I'll do it for you.

Why do I have to be stuck home?

Brittany come get us with your big truck!

:0

(i'm shouting)

*Sigh*

You bother me Ms. Gets Me Addicted to Stuff.

:S

Brittany's

Oh my goodness.

So I found out that if you can get the number of girls to outweigh the number of guys, they totally change.

Well, some of them change, others you just find out how funny they are.

However, sometimes you find a group that is quite different than you might expect.

They get way funnier, way rowdier, and a lot more sexual.

Better watch out for those gelatin penises. They'll getcha.

Holy cow, that was histerical. And fun too.

Like, I can't really get over it, awesome.

Also...

It's really crazy how cool that was.

It's neat how such a little thing like that could hold so much value.

It seems that just that little bit of contact can contain everything that you feel.

That was probably my favouritest part.

Fun fun.

Just don't touch him, a little pelvic thrust never killed anyone.

:o

Hmpf

Well that certainly didn't last.

It's like you think you need to be manly in front of your friends, but then sweet around girls.

How about being yourself all the time?

That works really well.

Just try it and see where that gets you.

>:(

You know?

If you actually do that, then there is more than hope for you.

I pray that you do half the things you say.

You might get back some of what you lost in all that mess.

Now...

I really like this.

New

Different

Awesome

=D

I told you

Just wait.

But now that's over now isn't it?

;)

Fits the Seams

It's hard to argue when
You won't stop making sense
But my toungue still misbehaves
And it keeps digging my own grave

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Why would I sabotage
The best thing that I have?
Well it, makes it easier to know
Exactly what I want

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

Put Sufjan Stevens on
And we'll play your favorite song
Chicago bursts to life
And your sweet smile remembers you

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
____________________________________________________

It repeats.

B)

Lol

Do, don't

Yes, no

There, gone

Hi, bye

Hidden, seen

Forgotten, heard

Waiting, acting

Silence, buzz

Just you wait.

;D

Time, Time

Can't find the time.

That light is out. But thus is mine?

I cannot but seem to look into,

the eyes of what is said be true.

I lack the time to call upon

an age of which I'm set upon.

The line of purpose I have yet attained

is that which keeps all thought stained.

I pray that now I can find the right

and reach the end of mine dreadful plight.
____________________________________________________

The words to say what's right seem to always run from me.

I feel the same, but with a different color.

It makes me want to cry sometimes.

You just wait.

:P

Hypocrites

There are so many of them.

And it seems half of them don't even know it.

I'm talking about more than one subject here.

They're the pits.

o)

(ahh! it's cyclops!)

O My Goodness

You guys write so much.

I'm gone for what...two days, and I have to read like 80 million blogs.

Well, I guess I didn't have to, but where's the fun in that?

Kansas City was fun, we rehearsed like 12 hours in 2 and a half days so I'm worn out, but oh well.

That was a lot of music in a short time.

I wish the people would've been of a higher quality, it wasn't all I had hoped it would be.

Tonight should be fun, I think its going to be me and like 6 girls.

How does that always happen?

I have no idea, maybe if all the guy friends I had weren't douche bags or idiots, or...

just plain creepy.

You just wait, I can't find the time.

Ha! Riddles are fun.

(wish I could make a yawning face.)

/0

(there it is, it took me several tries.)

What would that change?

Tell me, I'm retarded on this subject.

:\

Ok?

Ha!

No it's not ok, but I don't know what to do.

I lied to you by the way, I was doing something in particular.

I was having a debate with myself.

Which I had and have been having since like October, and my answer has pretty much stayed the same.

Yet I continue to argue with myself.

I have to leave. To do what I want to do I can't learn it here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to be happy.

Do what you want to do.

You are entirely correct, I do want to get close to you.

But what happens when I'm in Kansas City?

Nothing?

Then what the hell are we dancing around it for?

Or does the distance make the difference I think it will?

If so, then stay away from me.

I'm not worth the pain that it could cause, I'll guarantee it.

I'll always be right here though.

Just on the other side of the phone.

Lol, I really can't say it, that's so pathetic.

And, it really destroys me, this whole predicament.

The thing that bothers me the most is that it bothers you.

I wish I knew what to do, but I just don't. I've been thinking on it for like four hours straight and I still have nothing.

I can't believe the one I want to answer the most is the one I just can't answer.

(I have no face)

Ok

Um...

I don't know what to say.

You make me happy.

Sorry you always hurt yourself.

Am I talking about the same person?

Yup, but not for the same reasons.

But also no.

I'm so happy SYS started up again, I missed that dearly.

Screw pepband, mostly, not all the way, kinda wanna leave something to the imagination.

Oh, and my mom and her boyfriend are asleep on our couch.

Now I understand why she doesn't come home until 3.

I should wake them up, but what the heck would I say...

"Hi! It's time to wake up!"

"Hey you two, take it easy over there!"

"Did you want to go home tonite?"

I think I'll stick with...

"Hey, time for bed."

I feel like such a responsible adult.

Oh, and also, I bad at talking.

(the grammatical error is on purpose.)

And that's how you whisper in text.

So I almost yelled at Ms. Erickson in the middle of class. Like stood up and began yelling.

I understand I talk a lot and do...whatever it is that pisses teachers off, but seriouslyto just blatently deny me and Ross a chance to make up the assignment.

First of all, I did it, I know cause I fucking cheated off Jacob.
Second, I did come and talk to you about it.
Third, Cullen, or somebody got the work from you for me.
Fourth, why did Carrie get credit for the assignment when she didn't do it, and she even admits that.
Fifth, I'm so happy I get you for another semester, because I'm going to make it a living hell, and all while getting an A just to spite you...

I'll save the massive amounts of insults for myself, or ask me in person if you enjoy hearing cursing.

I'm very not happy about this episode of clusterfuck, thank you Corey for the very tasteful descriptive word.

A whole episode of it, man that's a lot of bad.

I HATE ENGLISH.

Espanol es muy bueno.

>:(

Another Song!!

Open with guitar solo...

more solo...

OHHHH!!!(really high pitched)

I really hate school!

End.

Also...

If he's gonna draw on me again, first again I'm gonna shoot him in his toodles!

:,0

(I'm laughing so hard I'm crying)

It always has to be me

No other way.

{:-/

Y.A.N.A

You Are Not Alone.

It's a pretty cool ministry.

Started by a guy who goes to the church I go to every now and then. Little did I know for a while that he started this whole thing because of me.

Pretty cool feeling, though I'm still not sure I did anything. He said it's because of a church trip we took a while back.

His father passed away in a car accident a little over a year ago now, and on this trip is where he found out about my father. He told me something along the lines of, when he heard that he realized that he wasn't alone, and that gave him a lot of hope. So he wanted to make other people feel this way, and so began y.a.n.a.

He asked me to write the story of when my father passed away, and how God helped me through it.

So here it is...

Hello to all who may be reading this. My name is Chris Williams, I live in Springfield, MO. About three months from now it will have been a year since my father passed away. I had known Ashton Owens for awhile, and about his father, but I had never really talked to him. Then on a church trip, he found out about my father, and he decided to start this whole thing, I feel very honored to think that he might have used me to reach any of you who he has indeed reached.

This is my story...

It's March, and time for Spring Break again, and even better we have a band trip planned. Me being the huge band geek I am, I'm thoroughly excited about it. However, we leave early that morning, and my dad finally gets the chance to sleep in, so I don't get to see him that morning. Oh well, this trip is gonna be tons of fun.

Indeed it was, we went to Nashville, Tennessee, and I had a great time. We traveled all over the city, seeing this, that, and the other things. I talk to my mom on the phone usually every night, give her the recap of what was going on. The usual mom stuff.

The days pass, and eventually the time comes for the return trip. So we board the bus and start heading home. We get a little ways into Illinois and all of a sudden I get a call from my father. He wants to know when I'll be home, and he tells me that my mother will be there to pick me up. Which, confuses me since they were supposed to be leaving on a trip of their own. He tells me that he's come down with the flu and he doesn't feel like going anywhere, so they're just going to stay home for now.

So we talk on a little longer about, oh I don't remember at all. But I remember clear as day the last thing he says to me.

"I'll let you get back to your friends."
"Okie dokey, I'll talk to you later."
"I love you son."
"I love you too dad, bye."
"Good bye son."

Those were the last words I heard my father tell me. I don't think I could've picked better words. It all seemed so final, I hardly ever say good-bye, it just doesn't fit, but there it just seemed like I was supposed to say that.

We get home, and my mother comes and picks me up, we take the short three minute drive home, and I start unpacking. I call for my dad, but he doesn't answer, I look down the hall and the bathroom door is shut, my mom says he's had the flu, so I just think, maybe he's throwing up. He's making these noises, but I do the exact same thing when I feel like I'm going to throw up, and in every other way I'm basically my father, so I don't think anything of it.

About 15 min. pass and I'm sitting there on the couch watching Titanic, and my mother goes to the door to check on Dad. He doesn't answer he knocks, and he's not making noise any more, so she tries to open the door, she pushes very hard, my father was not a very small man, and she finds him collapsed on the floor.

I'll never forget her scream, I jumped about twenty feet into the air I think and run for the phone. My hands are shaking so bad as I attempt to dial 911, I have to try twice to finally get it right. Then the wait for a person, she answers, I wish I could remember her name, but I was a little distracted, and yet calm, I know that what will be will be. The lady tells us to start CPR and takes all of our information and tells us help is on the way.

Of course it seems like it takes forever, but I'm sure it wasn't that long, my mother and I eventually switch spots, but nothing seems to change, he's turned purply, and he's not responding to us at all. The paramedics finally get there, and they take over, but my mother can't leave, so it's up to me to call my brothers and tell them what's happened.

They are 25 and 27, but they both live in town. I'm very calm when I call them, I don't know really what kept me so calm for all of this. I just kept praying for strength and peace, and the Lord granted it. It seemed like I knew everything would be fine, that it would all work out like it was supposed to. After all it is His plan.

Sometimes, I think that it's my fault that my father died, I heard him making those noises and maybe if I had tried the door, he would've been ok.

But I didn't, and I can't take that back, but maybe I didn't answer the door because I wasn't supposed to. Since my father has passed my faith has only grown, I've done a lot more things to learn more about His word. I know that my father passed for a reason, and I know that the reason will be shown to me in due time.

All of us who feel pain only have to look up to see relief. Just remember that it will all be worth it, keep your faith, there are others just like you who lost someone they love. Believe in the Lord and he will show you where to go, and what to do.

You Are Not Alone.

Thank you for reading this, and may you always look for God, because He will always look for you.

:)

I always seem to make you mad

It's 2009.

Why?

I don't really want to go back any, just stop going forward.

Oh, wait.

That's a lie, let's wait a little bit, then stop time.

Ya, sounds good.

Tonite's basketball game was awesome fun. All around good time, I love losing my voice for a retarded reason.

Well, as long as it's with people who aren't total idiots, makes it more fun.

However, tonite's football game went exactly as I thought it would.

CHOKE!

Every year.

I'm beginning to expect it out of them now.

Just my luck, I pick the teams that like to almost win, and then completely fail. They give you that glimmer of hope, just dangle it out in front of you, and then run away with it.

My gums hurt, and I hate dentists.

'nuf said.

:X

Happy Birthday?

Yea, it wasn't too bad.

Sorry my mom woke you up with that text, she's a little bit...

...

...

funny. Not in a bad way necessarily, just in a sort of out there way sometimes.

However, thanks to all who mentioned it to me, it's good to know that even though you might only know it's my birthday because someone shouted it out in band, that you still care enough to say it to me anyways.

Now, you guys are very, extremely lucky to have me as a partner.

Goodness gracious I do almost all the work everytime.

You used to at least ask if you could help, but now it's just another of those expectation that, "Oh Chris will get it done, he always does."

Maybe I should just start my own group and leave you guys out to dry.

Man my headaches.

And I really, ridiculously miss that...not the headaches.

Aha! Brittany, just another riddle for you to solve, I can tell how much you like them.

They're probably not all that you would expect though.

Oh, and sitting on a saddle in the middle of a resturant while everyone there shouts, "YEE-HAW!" is pretty hilarious.

At least I can say I'm legal now.

Anyone for porn, cigarettes, or a lotto ticket?

Well, too bad cause those are disgusting, killing, and a waste of money.

So there!

B/

3 for 4?

Perhaps.

Wait.

Crap.

That means I don't have a perfect score, and I couldn't be happier.

Well, about that at least.

Ever feel like you're in like the middle season of a show?

You know, the crappy one where nothing happens. It's just the same stuff over and over again.

Nothing is building, and nothing is breaking apart.

It's just kind of...there.

Ever feel like that?

No?

Yeah, me neither, but it's a fun idea right?

Anywho...

Money can't buy direct happiness, just things that make you happy.

I don't know about you, but playing Fable is pretty darn fun.

Or is it the people who are there when you're playing Fable that make it fun?

Hm...

mysterious.

The pants I'm wearing have tire tread marks and I don't know how they got there.

I'm pretty sure I didn't get run over by a very tiny car. But stranger things have happened.

Should I?

Oh, that's fun.

You guys should answer. It'll be fun.

I can't wait, actually that's not true at all.

I can wait.

=\

4 for 4

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurt?

Wished with all of your being that you could just have that one thing?

And yet, known that it wouldn't happen.

That it would just get stripped away from you.

I suppose it's my own doing that caused it.

It always is.

But, I have to be difficult.

Boring.

I don't think that it will be possible, so maybe I should change.

Nah, who likes change anyway?

Perhaps I'm overreacting.

But, it seems that what has happened several times before has again occured.

I should go in with this as my expectation.

Maybe, it'll help, doubt it.

But maybe.

Try the truth, that solves many problems.

It causes others ones though, but maybe those are worth the ones you solve.

:(

Damn

I'm sorry if I sounded mad, I really didn't mean to.

I was a jerk though.

Again, I'm sorry for that too.

Be mad at me if that's what you want to do, I completely understand.

But, I'll still be here.

X(

Thinking, Thinking

Guess I'll just give up.

:/