*sigh*

screw school.

I wanna stay home and practice.

also, I'm done with you Nancy Drew.

ha, that rhymed.

but seriously, I will not be addicted to you any more.

I hope.

:/

Thanksgiving???

So I sit here, after finishing a wicked fun Nancy Drew session (yay for us not cheating by the way), and I just realized that Thanksgiving is upon us.

I can't believe that.

How can time pass so quickly without anyone noticing.

BAM!

And then it's here. How depressing.

So, I guess since it is the spirit of the holiday I might as well list what I'm thankful for...

1. Friends- you make life worth living

2. Breathing- sometimes it's all I know I can control

3. Talents- I've been given lots of abilities (don't think I didn't notice) and I don't know why. It doesn't really seem that fair.

4. And the most important I might add. That my father isn't here anymore. He's probably having a hell of a lot more fun than any of us can hope to have. It only seems to get worse.

So here's to hoping you're having a good time, you ole fart.

;)

Gracious

Saving Grace.

Otherwise known as music.

So if you ever feel down. This is no joke. Seriously.

Listen to Bela Fleck and the Flecktones.

Perhaps the best jazz I've ever heard.

If you listen to it...yes that is a banjo. And if you're thinking of stopping because you think it's gonna be some poopie ole time country.

Just wait. It gets better.

This just serves to prove my point even more that music cures all. Anytime anything goes wrong just listen.

You'll find what you need in music.

Maybe it's as close as we can to Heaven while we're trapped here.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Sometimes I just laugh at how awesome it truly is. I feel like a glass that is just waiting to be filled. And it seems music is the most filling.

If only I could just sit and play all day, what an amazing thought.

I hope I'm able to do that.

I should go practice.

But it's a little bit late for that.

Yay! for it being Friday.

I get to sleep in. Which I'll probably end up sleeping until like noon because I think I might just sit here and listen to this music for another few hours.

It doesn't get old. The best part of it all is I think in a few songs they just start making things up halfway through, but they're so good you just can't tell.

I love how long I can ramble on about one subject, get a little sidetracked, and then oddly enough end up at the beginning.

Now stop reading and go listen to Bela.

Cool name by the way. Bela Fleck.

He just sounds like a good jazz player.

On a side note, Victor Wooten is the best bassist ever.

Also, if you're still reading this...

STOP!

Go listen, enjoy, relax, be happy, soak it up. Let it fill you up.

And for a moment, forget everything except for what you hear. It really is amazing to have no stress for like ten seconds.

Your welcome if it helps.

If it didn't help, I suppose jazz isn't for you. And also, you have a very sad taste in music.

I also think it's time for a change of pace.

=}

My Lonely Night

So it seems everyone is out watching Twilight, and well obviously I'm not.

I suppose I'll pass the time, this very boring time, writing. There doesn't seem to be anything better to do.

What the heck is up with Twilight anyway?

It seems very clichè, the story line that is. Not me sitting at home alone.

I mean seriously doesn't every vampire story eventually boil down to a girl, whose human, and a guy, whose not, and then some fighting, some love...and eventually the girl wanting to become undead to be with the guy forever.

Aww...how sweet.

But really, that's like every vampire story ever written. Well, except for Blade, but what can you expect from Wesley Snipes?

Not much.

So I sit here, listening to The Proclaimers because Family Guy got the song stuck in my head. Man I really am lacking in a life.

Psh. Who cares, perhaps having no life is closer to having a life than hanging out with people who hate you just so you can pretend you actually have a life.

Sound like anyone in particular?

Moving on.

I think at this point I'm just writing to take up time. Which is ironic since I always complain about not having enough of it.

And I don't usually.

Seriously only 17 years.

How can some people be so lucky to have to put up with their parents for most of their lives.

I suppose at least my father was always there. It could've been a lot worse. And I'm sorry to all of you who do have it that way.

If you need someone to talk to about it.

Really, I understand.

I should go to sleep. What a statement.

It's all right there in those five little words. What I should do and what I want to do seem to always be two very different things. Why does the pain of always choosing what I should do have to be so deep.

Maybe all the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.

I really do want to though. But I can't do that.

I'm sorry if that destroys Your hopes for that. But, if I don't get where I promised my father I would my life will not be worth living at all.

So I can't.

Maybe it'll all work out in the end.

And I'll be able to say as Michael Bublè is so effectively putting it...

Come fly with me let's fly, fly away.

L

ARGH!

So many people stepping up on their soap box.

Yes stand by your opinions, but it doesn't take long to reach a point where you're no longer fighting a good fight.

You're just fighting to fight.

And all that breeds from that is more fighting. By all means defend your beliefs to the death. But what happens when the people you're fighting are your closest friends.

I mean seriously. We all believe what we believe. And the fact that you believe something else and then repeatedly hammering people with that fact isn't going to solve anyone's problem.

We all keep shouting out our beliefs like we think it's our job to change the world.

No.

Just do it one person at a time. If one person doesn't like your ideas just respect what they believe, say a prayer for them (or whatever you want to do) and move on.

If you happen to change that one person. Terrific, then they can change one person and the list keeps growing. Don't ever think that every person in a room will agree with you though. Then your just as wrong as you think the non-agreeing people are.

So everyone just step down from your soap boxes. Take whatever weight you think you bear for all of humanity and throw it off.

Jesus already did that for you.

Get over yourself. In the end we'll all find out who's truly correct anyways. So hold on tight to what you believe.

I may not agree with what you believe, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. No matter what you believe by all means, say it.

But don't think that's going to change me. And if that's what you're going for...

Leave me alone. Go try somewhere else.

I can't understand why we all must continuously debate.

But go for it.

My favorite thing is seeing friends torn apart in seconds simply because they believe a baby is truly a baby at different points. I love it soo much it makes me heart cry for all the joy pointlessly wasted.

No, I'm not well versed in the Bible, nor am I that uppity into science, so I really can't back up what I believe, so I can't preach it. All of you who do preach without the full extent of information, you are blindly marching into a battlefield. You may know where you stand, but do you know what they believe?

Why not? You obviously think you're better than them if you're going to fight them.

Holy Moses, it's all so useless.

ARGH!

N

Sunny Beaches California

Don't ever tweak your neck awkwardly.

It hurts very badly. I still can't look right. And I keep unconsiously leaning my head to the left so it doesn't hurt. Made me miss fun too.

I probably needed to stay home with my mother anyway. She gets lonely. I hate that for her.

I ask myself why everyday. It doesn't seem to help.

All we can do is breathe. Life sucks. It always will. You just have to live for those tiny little things that can make you smile for an instant.

That's all I have left to hang on to.

You guys can make it all worth it.

F

We speak in silence words cannot break

What an awesome statement.

Like coming up for air.

You make it easy to be me.

Neato...

I like this song.

C

Deep Breath...

...and let it go.

Calm.

Finally.

That only lasted forever.

But I've turned in the transcripts and applications.

Now to play the waiting game.

It's ok, I've only got to beat out like 140 other people.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Here's to hoping...

E

Ok, so...

Be positive.

There is slight hope.

Which is ironic since his whole campaign was based on hope.

I sure wish I knew more about what he was gonna do.

Maybe I should get that passport.

What are you doing in these waters? Why did we never say that tonite?

Dang. Missed it.

This one is random. At least I know what letter to use...

R

O $h!t

well, then...

I suppose we'll have to lay in this bed that the rest of the country made.

Glorious.

England anybody.

B

Oh My

It's November, everyone shouts, "I hate you time!"

also...

Only 7 days until my father would have turned like 51 or something.

Is it bad that I don't remember that?

Nah, cause he never did either.

E