259...

is an odd number to end on.

So 260.

Ha.

You just got it.

:o)-|-<]

Lastly

I enjoyed that dream.

I did.

A lot.

English class can just lick the nastiest part of my dorm room floor.

I love the show Psych.

It is hilarious.

I also love Netflix, it has provided me with all of the episodes up to season 5.

I don't know what to say to that.

Guess I'll just leave you to it.

Goodbye.

[:)-{-<]

Assuming...

We all know what that means.

You've assumed something rather large here.

But uh...that's fine.

Think what you wanna.

I'll still be here.

Being the lame, stupid, idiotic, hateful, rude, useless person I am.

And you agree.

At least on some level.

Unfortunately for me that's a terrible ordeal.

I should just drop it, freakin' a.

But I just can't let a sleeping dog lie.

:O

I think

that's good for you.

Also...you are full of poop.

And are therefore now Poopie Pants Jones.

Fun fact.

Poopie...not a word.

Potpie is the first result as a substitute word.

On a different note:

I am lazy and do not get any of the work done that I need to.

That desperately needs to change.

But, because I'm lazy, I don't see it changing anytime soon.

Oh what a vicious cycle.

I don't think it's gonna matter how long I wait.

It'll remain the same.

Can't decide who that's worse for though.

It's like a version of a double negative.

No.

And also no.

Disappointing.

:X

Second Guessing

I do believe you've done that.

If I were to say what I want to say, you would all hate me for it.

Btw Rusty, if you happen upon this in say a month or two, it's not about you or any of the stuff we are going through.

I just have some thoughts on several subjects that don't seem to jive with how you guys think.

That's rather sad I think.

It's not completely relevant at all, but still sad.

I'm keeping my promises just keep that in mind.

Also, keeping my mouth shut, I'm super good at that.

Flit, flit, flit.

Around and around.

Worry, worry, worry.

If anything, worry about yourself, do everything you say you will, keep the promises you make to yourself especially.

If those promises happen to involve other people, so be it, keep them anyways.

Just don't give away everything you are for something you can't control.

Make the best of what you've got, but always make the best, never settle.

When you can obtain greatness, go get it.

Not everyone can reach greatness in what they dream of, but everyone can greatly impact someone else.

Greatness is not a measurable entity, if I go look on Madden for Adrian Peterson's level of ability, greatness will not be listed.

Greatness is relative, you are all great to me, God is great to everyone.

Be great.

I didn't really start this off with hopes of an inspirational speech, but if it made you feel better then good deal.

I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I may not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

Have a beautiful day, week, month, year.

Until we meet again.

:D

I...

Eye...

Aye...

I...

got a funny feeling.

I know what you thinking.

In fact, I'm almost positive you got a funny feeling too.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

You my friend, were/are wrong.

Good luck on your quest.

:S

Q&A Session:

So...

How's it going?

Having a good time?

So...how are you really?

The first time you obviously didn't answer the question deeply enough, saying fine is not acceptable.

Yea me too.

Feeling uncomfortable?

Maybe you should change chairs.

Do you know me?

Do you love meh?

Could you learn to love meh?

Could you have predicted what's happening?

What's happening?

Good luck.

;/

Fire & Rain

Ha!

I think that's the second time I've used that as a title.

:P

Rough Go

That's what I'm having.

Just so much to do.

All of a sudden I'm an adult.

It punched me square in the face.

I am by no means ready for it.

Completely unprepared.

Sometimes I wish bad things that completely go against the gifts I've been given.

Stop it.

Hey I realized something today.

Yup, sure did.

Gotta get my shit together...however, the previous two statements and this one are totally unrelated.

:S

Goodbye?

Hm...

Alright-a-rooty.

That seems very rude.

We all feel so loved.

No reason or nothin.

Well, ok then.

I actually think I know why.

:)

Weeks

...as far as they go mine generally aren't too bad.

But this one was just shitty.

I don't like anything about it.

Wait.

I lied, the concert tonight went well.

Besides that there is no redeeming quality.

Perhaps it's just the fact that my horn playing was awful this week.

I'm tired of working so hard at classes that aren't at all, or are just a little relevant to my major.

Blech!

I hate english.

I think.

All the friggin' time.

About what happened.

About Andy McKee and 8008135 and thumb wrestling and Ancient Aliens and so much else.

I keep thinking it's all in the past.

I keep thinking of her.

I keep thinking.

Keep, keep thinking love.

Ha!

Not quite the right lyrics.

By the way, just because someone doesn't comment doesn't mean they don't read.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Human error, is the worst kind.

Got stuck in a traffic jam today and danced to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun with the two other guys in the car.

Some girls next to us laughed real hard.

Fun times.

Wish me luck next week.

Hope her week goes as well as I want it to.

@:/

(WHAT A HAIRDO!)

Fly Me Away

Oh I'd love to, but I don't know who you are anymore.

Used to could say I did.

Ha!

Talking like a hill-billy is funny.

Regardless...

there will come a time and there will be happiness.

I hope only the best for her.

:o)

(awwwww....it's a cute clown to brighten your day)

Subject Association

So...

Have you ever taken something and associated it with another unrelated thing?

ie: Listening to Dental Care makes me think of new Kansas/44 overpass and Braum's, driving home, warm days, and ignorance.

I hate this feeling, one of thinking of good times old times, bad times old times.

Had a dream about her the other night.

Kind of a good dream, kind of not.

Don't really remember a whole heckuvalot about it, but I do remember seeing her.

Reaching out, feeling fear, sadness.

Trying to give reassurance that everything will be alright even though I've got no idea if it will or not.

What happens when a boy who's very confused and doesn't know what to do meets a girl with the same feelings?

A lot.

All of the things I say flow so much better when I'm about to fall asleep and I just happen to think them up.

I like Sky Sailing, I only associate it with calm and joy.

{8)

Riddles

Maybe I shouldn't leave so much information out...

Seems people often get the wrong idea about what I'm saying...

But now that just wouldn't be nearly as much fun...

Or hurtful?...

BOOGIE NIGHTS! THERE'S NO DOUBT IT IS TIME TO PARTY!

Lol.

I posted that and then realized how that last part could totally be misconstrued.

That is simply the song that's in my head.

I heard someone playing it down the hall.

Didn't really mean that because you say you're single means I can do whatever the hell I want without regard to hurting you.

80

Woah

That came out of nowhere.

Hadn't thought about that in a long, long time.

Who gives a shit?

Good for you.

&/

Fighting...

...off the strong urge to laugh.

I hoped that was coming.

So very fitting.

Loving how that turned out.

Bitch.

You know how I know in back at school?

Cursing.

I'm already tired of being home.

This place is a drain.

On my time, emotions, brain.

It's like there's not a single redeeming quality to this place anymore.

I really don't like being here.

Brings back memories that I don't particularly want to remember.

Like my sit in my hottub.

Be jealous.

I wouldn't be if I knew how it turned out.

Having a seemingly rough time right now.

At a new low.

Bed time.

My feelings are a mix between hate, annoyance, distrust, doubting, and a bunch of other pronouns that are only mean and hateful.

But fuck me right?

X[

(me after I shoot myself)

I feel a Restatement coming On

You could be happy.

I...um...know you are.

You give what you take.

Eh...may have been right.

That is completely not my decision though.

Lovin' the playlist I created.

'Cept the Jaymay.

Can't take that.

Oh well.

Did you know that if you act at least partially gay, or perhaps not interested intimately, around girls they seem to like you so much more.

It's all about trust and not worrying.

I'm digging campus life this year.

So many more friendly people.

Everyone stops by and sits to chat, or watch a movie with us.

It's nice.

Also, I find it weird that I don't really want to come home anymore.

I have no reason to.

Well that's not completely true, I do get free laundry.

Ah, there it goes.

Just that little twinge and I've got you.

BOINK!

Annnnnnd done.

Done?

I've got no fucking clue.

I cain't get no...satisfaction.

I have more thoughts on unrelated issues.

So I'm thinking of being a music theory major.

Well much less thinking, and more actually becoming a music theory major.

That's cool.

I think life will be fun for me.

Maybe not always financially secure, but still so, so, so much fun.

Regardless, irregardless?

I'm losing my grip, do I actually care to hang on?

Give me a reason.

These awkward sentences doing anything for you?

No?

Well...

I don't know what to tell you, nor do I think I'd be given the chance.

Hard to get an audience these days.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

You don't get it, you don't get it.

But I don't either...

damn.

:"

I Wonder Where you'll Go

The wholly unexpectedness of life is what makes it so fun.

But also results in an utter lack of expectation.

And if we can't expect anything out of life, what is there to do?

Be unafraid, for your fears are heavily guarded and you are sheltered from harm.

Hope is a guardian that can save all from all.

We've got 12 minutes before the world ends.

What will you do with your time?

I've no idea.

:S

You See?

Nope.

:P

UMKC

It's good to be back here.

I like these guys.

Yea, they're womanizers and racist, but they're pretty hilarious.

They encourage me to e far more outgoing than I normally would be.

Granted I still hardly go out, but they try.

Peer pressure doesn't really work on me, unless I find what I'm being pressured to do is actually worth it.

Getting away from all of that crap is nice.

Just crossing my fingers for tomorrow.

Let's just hope I'm still in the Wind Symphony and besides that it doesn't matter.

It'll all work out just like it needs to.

Even if I don't know why, He does and that's good enough for me.

Wanna talk?

:/

And just like that

You get to me.

Doesn't even make a little sense.

I don't really know what it is, but just a look and I'm done for.

Lame.

Or not lame.

I haven't decided yet.

Hi.

I tried, but nothing came out.

No voice makes for a dull conversationalist.

So I'm glad that our friends haven't totally chosen sides.

It's a very idiotic fight.

He says she says.

It's not my business so please don't involve me.

I saw that coming a mile away.

I do believe it is time to at least begin prentending we aren't in highschool anymore.

No?

Just me?

Doubt it.

Grow up and talk to each other.

The worst that could happen is you'll understand how you feel.

I just don't get it.

Get it.

I love you my darling farewell.

My dear Br...ielle.

Or at least that's how the song goes.

Hm... Did I just write that?

Yep.

Gulp.

8o

Time to Wait

Or waste.

I hate posts like that.

I can't tell if they have meaning or not.

Just post for the heck of it, or a whisper a whisper a whisper.

Undergrad.

Four more years.

Make it what you want.

what You want.

Um.

Yea.

:€

This Week

What more needs to be said?

This week is just spectacular.

Except for a minor speed bump or two it has all been fantastic.

On speed bumps...wrong impressions suck.

That is my bad.

Anywho.

I just tallied up how much I've practiced in these three days and it's around 9 hours.

Incredible.

I never really realized that practicing can actually be truly enjoyable.

I know I love to play, but practicing always has all of these negative connotations.

Always seems more like a have to kind of thing instead of want to.

But up here...it's like practicing is THE thing to do.

The best kind of peer pressure.

So what if my mock audition didn't go very well?

I know why, and I know what to do to fix the next one.

I love Denver so much, it's just gorgeous.

I'd get a picture of the mountains over the city, but I don't have a camera with the capabilities to do so.

Darn.

I'm excited for DCI now...all this brass stuff has really gotten me in the mood.

Woot!

I miss things.

This thing, that thing, nights and days.

They'll be here again.

Just remember, A Little Opera Goes A Long Way.

=D

Half of My Heart

That is your song.

You sing it to me all the time.

All the time.

And I play my part in it.

Most definitely.

I don't think it will be true for to much longer, well for me at least.

I honestly have no idea.

Killin me smalls.

:s

Time and Patience

You'll come round.

And I can't wait.

:s

Something...

has changed.

Randomly.

No reason.

Not very pleased by it.

Very tired.

So very tired.

:o

No More Invites?

WTH is up with this.

It isn't just you Brooke.

I keep getting invites from not the person who thought up the idea, but one of the people who received the invite and then thought of me.

Did I really drop that far off the map?

Jeeze.

Thanks everybody.

:(

This...

...could be a lie.

The whole ordeal has just been blown out of proportion.

Or, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself again.

I, personally, think that's what I'm doing right now.

But, it's just so sad.

To see something like that, and know what the outcome is.

Devastation.

I'm very sorry, but this, this way, it's easy to see.

It will be seen eventually.

I hope patience is still a virtue.

Do not know.

8'(

And...

You give what you ta-a-a-a-ake.

You.

You-ou-ou-ou-ou.

It's yo-ou-ou.

Jason Mraz song, don't remember the name.

Probably something like You.

Hold on, I'll look it up.

Darn, Song for A Friend.

>:(

Screw...

all of these people who keep commenting on my blog in their Chinese or Japanese.

Seriously I hate having to delete your retarded messages that are just links to Lord knows what.

Btw...nobody click on those if you see them.

I really don't trust them.

>=(

Follow Up

Took me a while to get back with what the first movement sounds like.

And while listening to the song, I realized I have to retract that statement as a whole.

I have no idea what movie the first movement sounds like, it's kinda weird...reminds me of like an army marching.

Second movement is kinda like a night on the town in France in like the 1800's...or what I assume one must've been like.

Kinda drunken feeling, like you've been partying, and you are stumbling around.

In the middle of this one there is a moment that happens and you can feel the energy change like you are getting to see the hero for the first time.

Reminds me of 101 Dalmatians, or Lady and the Tramp.

Third movement is eerie. Kinda like the main melody only twisted...very Alice in Wonderland to me.

The fourth movement is where the fun happens.

Think, the evil tide is rolling in while all of the good guys are partying and enjoying themselves.

Instead of Kiss the Girls, it's more like Under the Sea meets the songs in Lord of the Rings where you are with the Orcs.

Then, there is the epic fight scene, and apparently either the good guys defeat the bad or they join sides, cause the real party is the end.

It's so fun.

But you should really come.

Oh btw...I get to drive home that night after the concert so whoopidoo!

More incentive for you to come, could have a fun ride of joy and sleepiness!

8/

Today, Tomorrow, The Next Day, Yesterday

...Could not

...Would not

...Should not

...Did not

...Can not

...Did

...Whoops

...Try two

...Almost

...Does not

...Fail

...Have not

...Want not

...Need lots.

:(

Sha-la-la-la-la-la...

...don't stop now

don't try to hide it how

you wanna kiss the girl.

Sooo...one of the songs we're playing in wind symphony totally sounds like a combination of several Disney movies.

The first part is...well crap...I forgot, I'll tell ya that one later.

The second part is definitely the new Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland.

And the last part is Kiss the Girl from the Little Mermaid.

It's epic, and hilarious.

I wish you guys could come see it, but as always it's on a Thursday, so no luck for you.

...or me I guess, it's kinda my concert.

SUMMER is so close, I can literally taste it.

The trees here are so intensely strong that not only can you smell them from like 20 feet away, but you can taste them.

I could eat a tree, and it would be terrific.

And baseball is here, wonderful, wonderful baseball.

Needs to get me some tickets.

Woot!

:P

Don't Know What Else to Do...

So I guess I'll sit here and write for a while.

These same four walls have kept me company for a long time.

Do you ever feel like your mind is trapped?

Like all of your thoughts are bouncing off of something and coming right back?

All of your thoughts just keep coming back?

They are all the same thoughts, nothing is different...so boring.

On the good side though, practicing is not just senseless work anymore, I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.

That's good.

So...when I watch the show Life, I find that I'm always rooting for the predator.

Does that mean I'm mean-spirited or something?

Even if it's something cute, I still usually want the predator to get food.

I think it's cause the predators babies are always so much cuter than the food.

Like, a lion cub, or a little wolf puppy, or a baby fox, they're just so darn cute.

And who really likes gazelles anyway?

AWWWWWWW!

Mearkat babies!

Look at the little guys go.

Oh my goodness gracious.

I want one.

Sorry for writing this so that the two or three of you who still feel obligated to read new posts have to read this.

It's mostly senseless.

I miss you.

A lot.

A lot, a lot.

:0

Gone

Very gone.

Where did I go?

Suddenly I am not there anymore.

Ah crap.

Alone with my thoughts.

This never ends well.

:S

Counterpoint.

It's all up in the air and we stand still to see what comes down

I don't know where it is, I don't know when, but I want you around

When it falls into place with you and I, we go from if to when

Your side and mine are both behind it's indication.

:P

Sit and Watch

I should really get a move on.

I am in fact doing quite a lot, but it really feels like I'm doing nothing.

Like I'm floating along watching everything change around me.

Or maybe I'm the one who has changed dramatically and I'm not even close to the same person I used to be.

I just want to be home for a while.

I'm so ready for a break, I just can't get the um... drive up to do anything right now.

This is so stupid.

Why the hell would anyone put a break three weeks before the end of classes?

Wait...maybe it's four.

Still, twelve weeks in a row of school with no breaks...at all, not even a single day off, is just a little too much.

I want to go home and see all of you.

Not have to worry about doing calculus or anything.

Practice some yea, but not because if I don't I'm gonna be way behind, but because I want to again.

Be there and just be.

Sit and watch.

X0 ...zzzz...zzz...zz...z...

Drinking

Why?

I just watched quite a few people drink a lot of whiskey.

And why?

Because they felt like it.

That's so stupid.

Like an hour and a half or so later they all had to leave because they were too drunk, they couldn't even stand up.

That's what I want to do, stumble around, feel like crap, and not talk right.

What a blasty blast.

Real fun times.

I'd so much rather remember what I did that night.

Maybe spend a night on the couch with a particular pretty lady I know, watch a movie.

Better yet, sneak into a show, see what kind of trouble we could get into.

Hopefully not much, if I got put in jail I have a feeling I'd be the one getting violated.

You know...the kind of stuff that you don't ever wanna think about.

And now you are thinking about it, and it's all my fault.

I'm sorry/welcome.

I want a twinkie really badly.

Dadgum movie.

=D

Hello

March.

You are most fine I would say.

Definitely better than anything February had to offer.

You are quite busy though, full of events, and things to do.

Lots, and lots of work.

Fun work though.

Perhaps when I die, I should be put in a firework, and all of my ashes could rain down upon you.

You would never get me out of your hair.

:P

No Subconsciousness

I don't want to believe you.

But I do anyways.

It really could happen though.

It wouldn't be that completely unexpected.

So very deserving of someone who is always there, not just 2 or 3 times a month.

Devastating still.

I don't really know why that one suddenly popped into my head.

Just kind of a fear I have, I guess.

At least it's a rational one, not like the one about my clothes turning into monsters who strangle me as I'm wearing them...

wait...I mean, I don't have that fear.

Not rational, because I think it will happen, but because I know that if it did come to pass, it would make complete and total sense.

Right, right.

Oh crap, I'm gonna be late for class.

Wish I had more time to explain.

Have a nice day.

Or night, whichever time you read this.

8S

It...

will be ok.

Everything will be fine.

Not much change.

Or if there is, it won't be bad change.

How could it be?

If the feelings are still there nothing too important will change.

Are they still there?

I do hope so.

So terribly.

Also, read your skype.

8/

(it's a hopeful face.)

:(

8(

Goodbye!

See you again sometime!

Who needs that anyways?

Lame people that's who!

Well, I'm not going to be lame anymore!

Happy happy! Joy joy!

No hoping, no worrying!

Done!

Woo!

:(

In Fact, I Did Enjoy Them

Circle me

and the needle moves gracefully,

back and forth,

if my heart was a compass you'd be north.

Risk it all

cause I'll catch you if you fall.

Where ever you go,

if my heart was a house you'd be home.
__________________________________________________________

Implying that she's the bees' knees and I am the cat's meow.

It's funny how she recalls what I can't remember now.

But when her smile came back, and I didn't feel half as horrible,

She gave me a heart attack, just because she looked so adorable.

We both put our sunblock on, laid on the beach,

and vowed that we'd live and we'd learn.

Yea, but she got a tan and I got a sunburn.
__________________________________________________________

Interesting fellow.

:D

Fail.

:o

People...

Calm down.

Just...calm down.

Now is not the time to get all twisted into knots over little things.

Just relax.

It's not like who I'm talking to will actually read this...well maybe they will.

I dunno.

But really, just calm down, take it a step at a time.

It will ok.

:I

Update!

I feel terrible right now.

But I have to go to class.

Review days.

Just really bad feeling.

Anywho.

So, you know the word verification boxes when you are commenting on someone's blog?

I would really love to have those fonts as choices for my font.

Some of them are pretty shweet.

I wonder sometimes what it all could be.

Things go just a little differently and everything is rearranged.

Would I be here?

Would you be with me?

How would I feel?

I found 4 new Owl City songs yesterday.

I'd never heard of them before.

They were on his Ocean Eyes (Deluxe Version), the second disc.

Only listened to one, we'll see how it goes.

Next blog...if I remember...I'm going to try to not use the word/letter I.

Seems kind of tough.

Omgoodness gracious feeling horrible is in no way, shape, or form fun.

If you were wondering.

XO

Well...

I know, I know!

My eyes are very dry right now.

That's stupid.

I just put my contacts like an hour and a half ago.

Wait is that supposed to be an a of an an?

Cause a hour and a half ago sorta sounds right.

But so does an hour and a half ago.

Or, what about, half an hour ago?

So did my teachers lie to me when they told me that an was only used if the next word began with a vowel?

Oh cruel world, what have you done to me?

This conundrum is an evil plot.

Curse you Vocabulary Man and your Sword of Grammar!

I feel like going to sleep, but I have another class in...40 minutes.

Sorry about the ... I had to look at the clock, check the time, get the dl on what's up with the Sandman.

He's makin' me all sleepy and it is not dark outside.

Like a Rhinestone Cowboy. Ba-Da-Duuuu!

Don't ask questions.

So you know what?

That's a lie. And we all know it.

So there.

Don't be doin' that, it ain't right GURL.

Ok...well this awfulfest of nonsensical things is over.

I hope you enjoyed it!

Come back for the next installment of...

Lost in Spaaaaaaaace!

8S

No No

No No universe.

Not yet.

Don't get ahead of yourself.

;)

I'm Bad

At what I do.

To you.

It's all in the eyes.

The haze makes the picture clear.

The distance is lengthening.

So far I can hardly see across the divide.

I'm still here though.

Looking.

Not quite seeing.

Sometimes I do.

The fog lifts, and there it is.

So perfect in all of its glory.

Then just as suddenly as it cleared, it's covered up again.

For how long, I don't know.

I'll wait.

Much longer than some people think I should, or that most would.

But here I'll be, just a few degrees from serendipity.

:?