How Long?

Can someone pretend?

I have no idea.

Or is it not pretending?

At this point I have no way of knowing.

It is quite annoying.

I'd really like to practice but there is so much noise going on.

Why can't they just leave?

That cabin should be real comfy.

Just go.

I wanna play.

So calming.

But if I play now you'll just make some lame comment about how I'm sooo good. Or that you enjoy it so much.

I really hate when people say something like that while I'm practicing.

Get over me.

Overrated! Clap clap-clap clap clap.

I wonder how long this silence will last.

:/

I'm Home

I'm happy.

:D

Turn of Events

My plans have been completely destroyed.

Balderdash!

I really am upset.

It was completely on accident that things got messed up and it's nobody's fault.

I can't even believe that it turned out this way.

Such a good idea.

Guess we get to see how good my memory is.

Poo!

=S

December?

Where did you come from?

I'm happy you're here, and I hope January takes a long time to get here.

That would be A-OK with me.

I have a really big headache right now.

It's no fun.

I think a nap would help, but I don't feel like being up at 4 in the morning.

I have no motivation to do anything.

I just wanna go home.

Thanksgiving Break has that effect on people.

I wish the stuff I did and said made more sense to other people.

Stop playing Paramore Pandora, I've already heard two songs in a row by them, time to move on.

Thank you.

Oh, I need to get some of Ross's music.

Hey!

Idea for a Christmas present.

Really expensive and outrageous cause I have a perfectly good one, but...

Zune HD.

Yea, sounds fantastical to me.

That'd be super groovy with me.

14 days.

Just 2 weeks, or better yet...1,141,680 seconds.

I've counted to that high of a number once, well I only made it to like a hundred thousand, but that's close right?

;)

Ha Ha

I knew it would be a fad.

And I was right.

Like some odd months ago I said that most of the people on here would get off and not ever look at it again, but a couple of us would still be here.

Woot!

Called it.

Also, I noticed that Jesse's picture on here is of him and Sammy.

Funny?

Yes.

I can't wait for Friday to be over.

I've been ready for a break for like 4 months.

I miss you sooooo very much.

Oh crap!

Did I forget a face it my last post?

I DID!

NOOOOOO!

I'll put two on here.

Last time:

:P

This time:

=S

Dear Blogger,

Will you please actually update.

You seem to be having trouble telling me when everyone has written new blogs.

I think that is quite annoying.

Please fix that.

Thanks a bunch!

cHRIS

(lol, i totally capitalized the wrong letters)

P.S.

You rock.

I Wish I Had Stuff to Do

Yep.

Cause sitting here is getting super boring.

If only my roomate's xbox wasn't broken.

Nothing to do.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh..

:0

July 18

Except.

:S

Honors

I had written a lot of stuff written down.

Lots of things I had to say about what I think of the Honors Program.

But none of it matters.

I don't know.

I just want to play music.

I don't care about any other subjects.

I just want to play.

To play.

Evidentally you can't do that.

X/

Frustrating

It's like freshman year of high-school, only now I get to hear about all the stuff I miss out on.

At least then I didn't have any friends that I could see doing all this fun stuff that I wasn't involved in.

yes, i know. why should i complain? i'm in kc, getting paid to go to school.

It just gets on my nerves.

All the things I don't get to do, but why can't things occur on the weekends?

Nope, that just isn't gonna work.

sigh.

Yes I know.

Just let me complain.

I get to see it all happen around me, but because of my own...stupidity?...nah, overwhelming need to prove myself, I don't get to be involved.

I'm gonna be a big star, right?

I'll get all the money and the houses, right?

Knock on wood.

Shouldn't that be enough...

...no wait...

I get the girl.

Now there's something that's worth missing out on some fun.

I think I'm gonna stop whining now.

As long as you're there it'll all be perfect.

;)

LMBO

Well I really enjoy how one simple comment on a politcal issue can cause so much strife.

And also how people like to put sooooo many words into my mouth that I didn't put there.

I do support the President in everything he has done...or more correctly...hasn't done.

But whatever.

I might as well make some awesome plans for world peace, then I could win a Nobel Prize too.

Woo!

People are lame.

And funny.

I love you and miss you so much.

Aw...how sweet, cute, and if you're my older brother you think it's marginally homosexual.

'Tis true.

I'm not pleased with myself right now.

But I'll get over it...I'd better, or this whole being a musician is not going to work out well.

X[

boom, ba da da di da di

da da di da di doo doo da di da di doo doo

love love me.

Seems like lots of people are really depressed, and I'm sorry for that.

So...here's something I think is pretty nifty, it's not like a happy video, but at least it's pretty nifty.

By the way, the word nifty...pretty dog gone nifty if you ask me.

But you don't have to ask me.

Oh, right, here's the thing I was talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yv0ETlEls

Yep.

Well, I gotst some 'mo time before my next class, but I'm not going to be doing anything at all before it.

I waste so much time.

Did you finish reading my post before you watched the video or watch the video, then read my post?

Wasn't it an awesome little project?

Yee-Haw!

No, I'm not really all that excited, but it seems like a good time to be happy. Fall is such a beautiful time of year.

=D

Start at the Stop

Well now...I'd have to disagree.

=D

Time Well Wasted

I don't know what to do.

So I guess I'm just gonna sit here and write and see what comes out.

Life has been interesting up here.

I like most of it, but the parts I don't like, I hate a lot.

I would say 99% like and 1% dislike.

At least it's not like when you were in France and we can actually talk to each other.

By the way everyone up here thinks it's so awesome that you went over there.

I think they think that because it is awesome.

I don't know if I've spent this much time playing video games since like middle school.

It is a good way to waste time.

Once I've finished practicing there isn't a heckuva lot to do.

Next semester that will be way different.

I'm gonna be so loaded with work.

We'll see how coming home goes.

Probably pretty much like this time.

Every three weeks.

It's soooo freakin' long.

I don't know if I can keep it up.

I'll probably only last two weeks this next time.

You wouldn't think that 7 days could take so long, I mean God can do a lot with only 7 of them, and at the rate it feels like they are going now I almost understand how he did it.

That's a lie.

I couldn't begin to fathom how he could have so much power to do all of that, and I can't even muster the energy to do...well a lot of things.

I just remembered that I need to purchase a couple of french horn books, so I guess now is as good of time as any.

You guys all have wonderful days, and if you read this far, thanks.

I miss you so much.

:o

Stuck in the Dark

I had a good smoothie/shake today.

I liked it.

It was strawberry lemonade.

Yea.

I'm still jealous.

Don't know what to do.

It hurt just to wake up, whenever you're wearing thin.

Alone on the outside

So tired of looking in.

The end is uncertain

And I've never been so afraid,

But I don't need a telescope to see there is hope

And that makes me feel brave.

I had a really hard practice tonight.

Very frustrated.

Thanks owl city.

Gotta get in some light.

Ooooo...imagery.

I could use a hug.

S/

Interesting

I have nothing to say.

I would've thought it would be the exact opposite.

I Hate Sally

She hates me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

X/

What a Cluster-F***

This has all gone wrong.

There's a lot I could say, but none of it would be worth the webpage it's posted on.

I'm so happy I get to see you tonight.

It wouldn't have mattered when, but I'm happier it's sooner as opposed to later.

Don't look too deep into that...for God's sake I'm not being mean.

I really dislike when people try to find alternate meanings behind words.

Like a lot.

Sometimes on here I do, but when I talk to you, or I text, I'm speaking what I mean.

Not hiding the truth.

Oh I can't wait.

Stupid Keyboarding.

=D

First Week...so...

It started out just fine...then it got complicated...then it got worked out...now it's settling.

So I got here and got everything sort of set up, then I waited through the weekend for classes to start.

Woo fun, right?...no.

Boring.

Then once classes started it was alright, all little easier than I expected...then tuesday came and I had a poop ton of work to do.

I found out my audition results and was extremely surprised to find myself in the top band, yay me. That is a cool thing to find out, but there is another set of auditions at semester so I might lose it...that would be sad.

Anywho, with those results I find out on Wednesday that everything is screwed up.

I have to be in two places at once according to my schedule.

After much asking around and wondering what was going to happen, I finally end up talking to a conservatory person who was (thank goodness) able to help me.

Well, now I have an online course and everything is cruising.

I had my first lesson with Mrs. Campbell, who is by the way amazing, and I got a bunch of stuff to practice, which is good and bad, because I've never had to work this hard.

So when I want to be lazy I can't and when I go to practice, I actually have stuff to do.

So yay.

Well, I wish I could come back...for one reason...maybe two...but stupid honors program has a stupid orientation thing from 9-3 on saturday so guess where I'll be...

yea.

Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do now, go practice in a while, that's for sure...but who knows what I'll do in between those times?

I don't.

Hope the rest of you all in college, whether away or not, are having fun...or at least not dying.

There is no place I could be but...

siiiiiigh.

:P

Really a New Beginning

It all goes down tomorrow.

I start with theory, then wind ensamble, then auditions, then keyboarding.

You guys can probably imagine how happy I am that I don't have to deal with crappy classes that have nothing to do with what I want to do.

I am so excited to start, but still a little nervous...I won't lie.

I might just be able to come back this weekend.

Oh, and by the way KC is like BBQ capital of Missouri, I think everyday there is a planned event where BBQ is the food being served.

It's ridiculous.

Good thing I love pulled pork, that's where it's at.

Alright, let's get this road on the show!

I can hardly wait...to see you...go to school...see you...yea, see you.

=D

Well Here I Am

It took a while to run my mom off, but she left surprisingly easier than I expected.

So my dorm is nice.

Kinda small, but that's expected.

I dunno much else, it'll just take some time to get used to it here.

That's also expected.

You'll have to give me a couple of days to send that.

I'm not entirely sure where I'm gonna find one.

Well, time to settle in to some good 'ole xbox...some things don't change.

:S

btw

I forgot to put the actual title of that song anywhere in that last post.

It's Vanilla Twilight, by Owl City.

Another good one is The Bird and the Worm.

The guy behind Owl City is apparently odd, which fits how he sings.

I think what he writes is very cool, and the way he puts it together is extremely happy sounding...for lack of a better word.

I love the line about looking at the hands.

I like the way Ross put leaving...it is simply going to be a two week vacation.

Just like France, only I can actually text.

If I'm your boy
Let's take a shortcut we remember
And we'll enjoy
Picking apples in late september like
We've done for years
Then we'll take a long walk
Through the cornfield
And I'll kiss you
Between the ears

The last couple lines have a double meaning that I like, you know on the face obviously...and then the ears of corn.

Nifty, nifty.

=D

Oh, the Times When we Doubt

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss you arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when i think of you
I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here

:')

I Leave on Friday

What?!?

:o

What Lies Beneath

If you didn't say it, sometimes it would be impossible to tell.

I can't say how incredibly awesome finals was/is/will always be.

I don't know how many times I've said it, but repetition doesn't make it any less true...best headache I've had ever.

Car rides are fun when the people with you are fun.

I was soo close to making that one, it would've hit Corey square in the face, but hey...it still would've gone in.

I'm happy there isn't a Madison Street in Springfield, well that I see ever, because I'm really tired of looking for it.

I still find it really ironic that the main drag we were on was basically Campbell, then as we went into the city it turned into Kearney.

Just proves how much Indiana likes Missouri.

The only bad part is that, now that I'm home, it seems like I'm going to be leaving again tomorrow for KC.

I would've liked the trip home to take longer, because when I get back here, all the stress and worry that I was able to get rid of while in Indy has all just flooded back.

It was a terrific escape, you all should come next year, I can hear that Holiday Inn Express calling our name.

:0

Kinda Freaked Out

So whenever you go to post a comment there is that little man in a wheelchair.

I get that it is for blind people...but how are they gonna find the button to push?

I know there is programs that say whatever is on the page, but is it like a game of hotter/colder?

Then if you click on that button (make sure the sound is on), you get perhaps the weirdest thing I've heard.

Maybe it's just my computer, but it was like Satan speaking directly to me...that's a little far.

Then I got to thinking is that how blind people hear?

Cause that really doesn't make any sense at all.

If so how in the world did Ray Charles play anything?

You should check it out.

:0

Noncompliant

I have nothing to say.

But everything to tell.

No words.

8C

(like my moustache?)

Just Keep Swimming

Swimming, Swimming, Swimming.

When I look to the sky...

Hm, Hm, Hm.

Gotta just keep telling me this over and over.

How's that for a lame post?

And it all does make sense.

:P

I was Right

You won't believe me, but I know I'm right.

No, I won't tell you.

I'm happy I'm right.

It makes me worry less.

:')

Boredom

From this state comes many different realizations.

Such as, songs can be simple, and extremely complex at the same time.

Or, even the most interesting video game gets very bland after a long time.

The people who play soccer are a lot better at than most people think. Seriously, like almost every pass they make is way harder than any time I've ever kicked a ball.

Dances with Wolves reminds me of that one Tom Hanks where he's stuck on that island...hold on I'm looking it up...Cast Away. Except for it's a different actor who is alone for most of the movie.

I forget his name.

I really thought I'd get more texts, in a way I'm really happy I didn't, or I guess haven't.

I hope that I'm as good as you all make me out to be.

Playing the piano is very calming, I just wish I could sing so that my voice wouldn't ruin what I'm playing.

It seems like most comedy just points out things in life that we fail to notice. Everyday events are actually extremely hilarious, we just fail to realize it. So in essence, a comedian is nothing more than a person who is more observant than the rest of us. Well and a good story teller.

I'm very interested in this purple violet story I've heard about.

I'd better get used to this.

Yes, it's a riddle.

Get over it.

Why did people get so interested in why chickens are crossing roads? What I want to know is why the heck are so many chickens just running around cities?

I've never seen a chicken just roaming around.

Well, Tim Allen is turning into a dog, and back into a man on my television screen, and it has me completely interested so, looks like I'm just gonna have to watch it.

:0

Zoey

Can't live with them, can't live without them.

I know Brooke likes that name...can't think of why...

Oh and I don't mean that saying in the normal way, more of a literal can't live with them.

People frown on that for some reason.

:S

poco tiempo

Little time.

That's what it seems like.

It really needs to slow down.

I don't think me saying that is gonna help any, but yea.

I've really enjoyed this small amount of time though, been loads of fun.

I agree with you...

...also I don't know that a lot of girls would think the same way, which is just another example of why I like you.

That saying about girls is completely true.

:P

What do I have to do?

I want to know so bad it makes my heart tear itself apart.

>:(

Sorry

I figured I should go ahead and apologize so when you read the rest of this, you'll already know that I did.

So I went and saw Harry Potter with my mother today.

I liked it, I can see how some people wouldn't.

It did follow the book, but as with all movies about books it couldn't do everything, and for some reason people just can't wrap their minds around that fact.

They did change a few things, leave some out, but overall I thought it was very well done.

I thought the acting in this one seemed to be better than the others, I actually saw them as characters.

Well, ok...

See I told you I apologized for a reason, I'm gonna see it with you Saturday, maybe for you that's today, or we already did.

So be happy...

...even though my mom gave me a retarded curfew for the last month of summer of 11...

...what a bombshell...

..also, I'm not joking.

>/

Fuck Me

All the wishing in the world isn't gonna take back that mistake.

X(

At Least My Pool is Cold

I haven't written anything for a long time.

Sorry about last night...I just got depressed.

It happens, it wasn't because of what you think.

I'm fine now.

Anywho...today is really stinking hot.

What the heck happened to the comfortable weather we'd been having for a while.

Hm...oh well.

:S

I'm So Tired...

...of these friggin' dogs!

...of hurting!

...of...did I mention the stupid idiot dogs!

All they do is...the dirty.

All the time, it's so fucking annoying.

Neither one of them listens.

Koby used to, but now he just doesn't.

It's so retarded.

The fact that I've pulled my groin only makes everything else worse, pain is not a good thing to add to any bad situation.

All day I've been using a heating pad, or sitting in my hottub, and still it hurts.

What the heck am I gonna have to do?

It's frustrating.

I can't even go anywhere.

Ugh! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Part of me hopes you don't come over, I'm just gonna be a downer.

You don't need that.

The other part of me wants to see you really badly.

Guess we'll see how the night plays out.

Mostly I just want you to sleep at nights.

It really upsets me when you can't get to sleep, and I just fall right to sleep leaving you hanging there with an unanswered question, or something like that.

I'm so sorry.

Here's to hoping you can sleep tonight, and every other night as well.

:O

Was it you who spoke the words...?

Since apparently it's just me and Brooke who write on this little sucker I figured I should write one for you.

I love you.

People think that we aren't really close to each other because we don't get all over each other in public, and that's what makes us the best couple ever.

Some people might disagree with that statement, but they are wrong.

You might think that since I'm going to play music in KC that it'll be easier on me, but it will suck just as bad.

You won't be there so I can just sit there with you and be happy, and forget all the troubles I have.

I'll have to make a whole new set of friends...which I'm not good at.

I wish so much that we had gotten together sooner, because it seems like we've been robbed of time together.

But even in this short time, I've gotten closer to you than I thought I would ever let someone get.

It's been really fantastic.

Yea, we've had our little bickering moments or whatever, but every time - at least for me - each time it's resulted in a stregthening in our relationship.

I really hope this continues for a while, that'd be neato.

I wish I was better with words, so that I could weave some kind of epic tale in which I describe my feelings in a well thought manner.

But, I suck at that...well obviously by what I said earlier.

I promise I'm not mad at you, nor was I ever.

Jason Mraz sums it up nicely.

If you could see me now, well then I'm almost finally out of...finally ou-ou-out of, finalli-di-di-da-di-di-di, well I'm almost finally, finally well out of words.

Now I am.

8)

So Dum

Holy shit!

I'm so stupid.

Really?

What the hell?

I'm sorry.

>:(

'Roos

I love that mascot.

It's like my favorite ever.

I got all registered and what-not.

I've got a lot of classes to take...like a bunch.

Where as a normal student would have about 130 hrs to graduate, I'll have a minimum of 150.

Yay for 5 years to graduate.

Ha!

Fitting in music classes, physics classes, honors program classes, and then the general classes is not gonna be easy.

Ugh...at least OTC isn't too expensive.

I am excited however, because pretty much all of my first semester is music classes.

SHWEET!

So far.

:S

Sim 3

Fun game.

:0

Took Long Enough

I finally figured out how to not be an asshole to you.

Thank you.

It should be better from now on.

So far, it's working...so let's just keep it this way.

Woo!

=D

SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

Ha Ha......yea.

I can't get inside, I don't know how.

Other people seem to have no problem at all.

I just can't figure out how.

Still scared.

:(

One of These Days

I just feel like I'm not good enough.

There has to be something else to make it good.

I can't find a way to make things good on my own.

It can't be fun if it's me, there has to be something else.

So very scared.

8/

'Big Change'

Oh yea, I love doing all the chores.

And feeding all the animals, even the ones that aren't mine.

It's a good thing I use both the pool and hottub, cause I'm the only that cleans those too.

I feed myself, take care of my things, and now all of theirs too.

Fun, fun.

So much, friggin' fun.

I don't think I'm gonna do those thank you letters...maybe I will...hm...

I don't really see a use for them.

Maybe as a conformation that I got their money, but how could I not have gotten it?

Hm...I don't know.

I'm just feeling like I'm getting the short straw everytime around here.

Yea, I got a new computer, because of my brother, yea I'm going to college, because of my hard work, and yet I still get to do all the bullshit I used to even though there is somebody else living here who is perfectly capable of doing something.

When I'm gone, I can tell this place will fall even farther apart.

It's not like it's that bad, but I'm the one that does the chores, and housework.

UGH!!

Still wish KC wasn't sooo far away.

:/

Update!

Dr. Who marathon!

Woot!

Also...

No one gives a poop about bigfoot!

So bla-di-bla him!

8)

Just the Right Amount of Awkward

Are you mine? Are you mine?

Cause I stay here all the time,

Watchin' tele, drinkin' wine.

I'm already lonely.

That had better get worked out fast.

Oh hey...good news though.

I don't think I woke anyone when I came home, so that's good.

I would feel bad, I'd probably still stay out, but I 'd feel bad if they got up.

For some reason I really love how laptop keyboards feel when you type, it's like they are a lot more responsive, or move faster or something.

I dunno, I just like them.

Ugh. I realized this morning that I have three mosquito bites on my shoulder.

They are extremely annoying.

I hate mosquito bites...in fact everyone hates mosquito bites.

It's like, not only are you going to steal some blood, that my body painstakingly made, from other cells, but then you are gonna make my skin swell up with red bumps, and on top of that make it all itchy.

Of course it's the famale mosquito that does this.

Wait...what is that supposed to mean...

Hm...who knows?

:s

not me

ARGH!

Man, that sucks!

We did so well in the first half, but then fell off at the end.

That friggin' red card in the first half, how retarded?

There was nothing there to warrant that.

Man, we held it well, but playing for like an hour with a man down, so it's 11 on 10.

Ugh.

Well, they still played well.

Pirlo, this Italian guy, he is a very good passer.

It is ironic to note that out of the three goals Italy scored, two of them were made by a guy who was born in New Jersey to immigrant parents, and then moved to Italy when he was like 16, so he could've played for us, but chose not to.

That sucks, cause if he was on our side, we win.

Oh well, still great game of soccer, our goalie Tim Howard...what a stud.

Ok, guess I'll go back to writing confusing blogs that no one really understands.

That's more fun anyways.

:S

I Watch All Kinds of Sports

Wow, soccer is actually extremely exciting.

WOO-HOO!!!!

Landon Donovan just scored against Italy.

Basically this match is like a 4 vs. a 14, USA being the 14.

And they are doing fantastic!

Holy cow, everyone may give soccer crap, but it is awesome.

Oh my goodness, this guy just about got a bicycle kick directly to the face.

You know the flipping kick thing.

Woulda hurt like hell.

Ah...we almost scored again, and it would've been like 2 minutes apart.

So close.

More of you guys should watch soccer, even when there aren't any goals, there is always so much action.

The crowd is annoying, cause it's sounded like there is a swarm of bees just engulfing the stadium...it's how many blowhorn there are in this place.

Good golly that would be annoying!

Oh man, the Italians just keep making mistakes.

Oh, this is a good game.

There is this guy on the American team, Jozy Altidore, he's only 19 years old.

Like that Freddy Adu character, I didn't really think about them being my age and playing soccer in South Africa professionally.

That's insane.

I wish I was that good at playing horn, man that would be cool.

Well, anywho...my lunch is ready so I'm gonna go eat now.

If you read this in the next like hour, you should definently watch the game, it's on espn.

I know you won't but still...it's awesome.

:)

Lights Will Guide You Home, and I Will Try to Fix You

Things have already changed so much.

Argh!

I don't want to be here very much.

I guess I'll have to show my face every once in a while.

But seriously, if any of you are willing, I would love to hang out.

And yes Rusty, I know your house will always be open to me.

And yes, I will probably be taking way more advantage of that now.

Oh hey...You, Me, and Dupree has a very little played Coldplay song in it.

That was unexpected.

I'm still scared.

:/

So Very Scared

She's standing at the train station.

Waiting.

Her ticket has a number on it.

She just missed her train.

Just barely.

But it went away.

Now another one comes up.

It looks a lot different, but it's going close to her destination.

She figures maybe this one is better.

A little change is always good.

Right?

So she takes it.

I'm so very scared that the second train will crash.

I'm so very scared, that this second train will ruin her.

:S

The Little Things...

It really does mean a lot to me that you did that.

I know it may not seem like all that much, but it really is.

Thank you.

And bowling was fun, I won't lie, standing there while you guys decided what to do with your tickets was a little boring.

Hey...I'll get over it.

I don't really know if that helped you feel any better or not, but I know it helped me.

At least now we know what to do.

..you do to me are, takin me over.

:)

i just want to see You

And now we've taken so many steps backwards.

Before you knew about that, you thought you were all I needed.

And that is still true.

Why do you suddenly think you need to be different, when last week you didn't.

I'm the same person I was before you saw that, nothing has changed.

All you have to do is the same thing you did for quite a while.

How can I possibly talk you in to believing this?

I know you don't think you'll ever live up to what I want you to be, but the reality of the situation is that you were.

But now you seem reclusive, like you don't want to be near me, because you think you aren't good enough for me.

Well, dearie, that is the most incorrect thought you've had since we started dating.

Just be Brooke.

Please?

:'(

I'm

Empty.

:/

Of Course Not

I have an idea.

But I know it won't work.

Because of one reason.

8/

So Alone

And it's not because I'm not around people.

I dunno.

I just feel seperated.

It's not anybody's fault.

It's just one of those things.

Let me tell you though, it is not very fun.

It's like I'm on my own little island way out from everything else.

I don't really know what to do.

:(

Worst Farmer's Tan Ever

You know, you're gonna have to let me buy you the things I/my dog break.

I'm just gonna keep harassing you about it until you either:1. cave, or 2. get so mad at me you're throwing things.

So just suck it up, and let me do this for you.

Now kids...

sunscreen is a very good item.

I hurt.

Owie.

I think even my eyes are red.

Ugh.

:S

Just Call Me James

I bowled a lot better than I usually do tonight.

That was pretty fun.

Yea...

Anywho, sitting here now, not so much.

She speaks very truly.

Yellow light, turned red too quickly.

One of these days.

Maybe.

Doubt it.

Not too much left.

:I

So soon?

Haven't had much to say lately.

This is gonna be awkward here in about a week and a half.

He's a nice guy and I think he's smart enough to know better...but if he tries to "lay down some ground rules"...guess who's moving in with his older brother.

I don't think that'll happen though.

BIG CHANGE

Yup, that's it.

:0

Grr...Brr..Blluuu...

Funky sounds coming from Brooke.

Whaddya say we leave for California?

If we drive all night we can make it by the morning.

:/

Okay...

Do you really?

Start it.

:I

Unendings

For once will...

Can't it...

Is there...

Can...

How can...

Why don't...

Do...

Will it ever...

Are...

:'(

Everytime

The same thing will always happen.

Why do I try to make myself believe otherwise?

Is it just some false hope that I keep for myself?

One of these days, maybe it will be different, but I don't think that's gonna happen until it's fully seen just how impossible this next event is gonna be.

All for you.

You know, it actually does get on my nerves.

When the same thing is repeated over and over, you do know that as hard a time as your giving me, I'm doing the same thing to myself only twice as bad...right?

I hate myself so much most of the time for the things I do, or don't do more often.

How can you possibly understand how I treat myself?

I really want to shout curses and throw things at my walls right now because of something.

>:(

Ahem...

One bright day in the middle of the night

two dead boys got up to fight

back to back they faced one another

drew their swords and shot each other

a deaf policeman heard the noise

and came and shot the two dead boys.

Ross, don't add your poop.

That's the whole story.

I wonder how long it will take...

More mysteries.

:\

Hagenvagen

I made that word up.

It doesn't mean anything.

I'm the only one who says it.

The sky is falling...well hagenvagen.

I'm so bored.

This is what I spend my time doing.

Contemplating a deeper meaning to words that have no meaning.

This mood I'm in is awkward.

I don't even want to do that.

Isn't that terrible?

That, is something that I've always wanted to do, and yet, right now I don't want to.

Disappointment is not any fun.

Nope.

What do I have to be disappointed in?

Well, I'll tell you, right after I do something else.

Aha.

Yes Brittany, I know I'm confusing you.

In about a month, I won't even know what I was talking about on here.

That's okay, I do right now.

:/

Got My First Mosquito Bite Yesterday

Summer, so far, has been about 85 times more productive than any of school this year.

Yep, pretty sure about that.

My pool is almost ready to go.

Just a little chilly.

I agree with you that those things are very stupid, and blaming other people for doing what is right is stupid.

Want to...want to.

Always want to.

Right here...right here.

Always right here.

It's way too hot in my house.

Why are the windows open?

I don't know what else to say, but I just want to keep writing.

Ever feel like that?

It's finally summer and I couldn't be happier.

I miss you.

=D

Vas Deferens

Look it up.

That is all.

:P

Cleaning and

I learned how to juggle a few minutes ago.

I thought that was pretty interesting.

Not very good at it, but I can do it.

...

And that's how I stayed not bored.

It was quite entertaining.

:S

Take It Easy

I finally got to do what I have been wanting to for a very long time.

It was freeing, shouldn't have done that, but it was still good.

Didn't find any bacon so that's not too bad.

If you figure out what I did, congrats.

Tonight will be boring; after the ceremony, it will be fun; after about 3, it will be tired.

I like how I got really sunburnt just in time to graduate.

That's me.

My pool is almost ready, it needs to be cleaned and then have all the starting chemicals put in it, then it need a solar blanket so it's not 60 degrees then it'll be alright.

Can't wait for pool baseball.

My neck and nose hurt, just realized that.

I can't figure out how to put a little hat on this fellow.

[]~:)

(aha! it sorta works!)

It's Just...

Same old

Same old

Me

:?

Wow

Wow

Wow

Hm...have I heard that anywhere?

Anywho...I am so glad that's over.

Now it's on to new and different things.

I will only miss the people, almost nothing else about it seemed worth it.

Relay is gonna be fun, even if it rains...guess I'll just be playing wiffle ball soaked wet.

Siiiiiiiiiigh.

I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I can wait for college to start though.

Hopefully this summer takes longer than any other summer ever.

I know it won't but you can always hope right?

=D

Does that work like that?

Breaking up slowly?

What?

Does that even make sense?

Um...they do realize that that in itself means that they don't really want to be without each other...right?

Like...if you really want to end the relationship you won't have to take it in a step-by-step process.

Or am I wrong?

Please tell me.

I don't plan on doing that at all, but I'm just really, extremely confused.

Kinda seems like a band-aid situation to me.

Whatever, I guess things don't always have to make sense to everybody.

:S

So busy...

I've seen a lot of fires lately.

I think I'll smell like smoke forever.

Come on this is the ole Alfer...

that's an odd phrase.

My finger burns.

Don't pick up hot logs, well I didn't really know it was hot, but still just don't do it.

To the sleepless this is my reply...I'll write you a lullaby.

Good song, good band.

Listened to 'em while mowing.

Have you ever noticed how retarded wrestlers look?

Not just because of the outfits, but just in every day clothes they look so dumb.

And that's what I did this mother's day.

:/

How can you not see?

Good God I'm an awful person.



X(

why

Why don't you ever tell me things?

Why do you just lie to me?

Why can't you just say something?

Why do you hide what you want to say?

Why can I not ever hear what you want to say?

Why can't I ever do things right?

Why do you never say it's alright?

Why do you just let me sit here in my sorrow?

Why am I sitting here?

Why am I so mean?

Why don't you lead?

Why do I only hurt you?

Why do you put up with me?

Why?

:(

Listen, That's it

I don't know how...

The first verse of The Scientist says what I want to.

Actually the chorus does too.

I'm not really going back to the start though.

I wish I could sing.

I'm really not very good.

Every time I have to go to English I die a little inside.

I think this next time I'm just gonna pop my zune in and let her yell at me if she wants to.

That's probably why she hates me so much, I have no respect for her and I show it.

It's the same problem I had with L. Reid, I just have no respect for him on any level, and I'm not really afraid to act that way.

If you've only proved to be an idiot I lose respect very quickly. You need to actually know what you're talking about to talk about it.

That's not too much to ask right?

Woah, if you click Post Options, it'll be at the bottom of the box you type in, you can change the time it displays.

I hope you read this Ross, cause then you could just do that instead of end with the time, although it is kind of neat way to do things.

Like me and these odd faces.

B)

What I want to say

Is...

:X

Uh-Oh

I have no idea what I was gonna write about.

It was obviously very important to me.

:/

I hate English, but Catherine has some big Cleavage

So I just got done writing my english essay, and let me be the first to tell you...it is awful.

Like, it's embarrasing how truly bad this essay is.

I feel kinda bad for Ms. Stupid-Head cause she has to grade it.

That's seems like a good build up for the paper, right?

I mean with a lead into like that, it can only be good.

But it doesn't really matter, cause I just got the summary of money that I'm getting from scholarships at UMKC, and we're pretty sure that I'm going to get paid to go to school there.

Which rocks my friggin' face off.

I'm really looking forward to it now.

Happy day, Happy day.

And now I'm writing about Brooke cause she's sitting next to me, which when I first wrote this I didn't mention. She didn't like that very much and is now making me write about her.

It's ok though, cause I could devote a whole blog that's much longer than this about to her, and it still wouldn't cover how much I like her.

Also, I used cause a lot in this blog.

:D

Simple Seen

I read that and I'm happy.

:)

Empty Words on a Blank Page

This is one incredibly terrible mood.

I'm not particularly mad or anything...it's just like I'm here, that's it.

Nothing more or less.

I feel like I'm going through life's motions, without feeling anything.

Isn't that terrible?

It's like the only emotion I can feel is sorrow for the fact that I have nothing else to feel.

Here in a couple hours I'm going to Cullen's house, then Prom, and I don't think I've ever been less excited about anything.

It won't be bad, and I know that, it'll be a good time, but I want to do something else.

I have no idea what I want to do.

I want to be away.

I have an idea of what to do.

I'm on the verge of tears, I have a reason.

No one will know.

This blog is really sad.

I'm sorry, I seem to be saying that a lot.

Why can't it all be over so I can get in a car a drive away without missing anything.

I just want to go...

Want to come?

The worst is that it seems even music can't calm this feeling.

That's always worked, but I don't know what I want to hear.

Your voice telling me it'll be ok, that you love me, that your always right here.

I want to see you so bad.

But you aren't here, you can't be.

Sometimes I want to give up, but I'm not done yet.

At a time like this I just don't know what to do.

This is so hard.

:'(

It Happens

That was ok.

I guess.

Not really all I wanted it to be.

I don't usually make myself happy.

I have a couple times, but it has to be perfect, in every sense of that word.

No silly mistakes, no stupid illness.

Just the music in its infinite bliss.

:/

*Clears Throat* Ow that hurt

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

Why?

Why, do I get sick two days before I play my solo with the Youth Symphony?

You know, it fits.

It wouldn't be so bad, but whatever I have, it's closing up my throat.

Making it very hard for me to breathe, let alone play a french horn.

Missing a day of school means absolutely nothing to me, I just hope I get better instead of having no change at all.

Here's to hoping.

X0

Chris...

can only think of bad things.

Do you know how much that sucks?

X/

When I first posted this it didn't have a title, Now It Does

Everyone seems to be talking about yesterday, so instead I'm gonna talk about the Restoration Period.

Ha Ha...

Yea right.

English sucks.

My inner things still hurt, how can a branch hold 150 pounds just fine, then break with 120?

Does that even make any sense?

Our luck is terrific.

Trying to stop biting your nails after a few years of doing it is ridiculously hard.

Already, I've had to pull my hand out of my mouth twice while writing this.

Three times.

Oh, and Carrie, remember that day in band, when I agreed with Brooke.

Man, are we good...if I knew exactly what an I told you so face was, I would put it at the bottom of this post.

But alas, I don't.

Sad day.

We should really work on Chief's gift today.

Anybody agree?

8P

Blah, Blah, Blah

"You don't do any work..."

Um...neither do you.

Yeah, that's it gorund me, because that just means you can't go anywhere either.

Does punishing me, making me sit at home really mean that much to you?

Seems like a ginormous waste of time to me, I'm gonna do the same amount of work I was doing.

I really want to go to Kansas City, taking care of myself will be a good change...

But it's so far.

Hopefully I'm not chocked full of homework every weekend, I'd really like to be able to come home.

One guess why.

X(

Cut My Life Into Pieces...

Where have I heard those lyrics before?

Probably the same place that killed my back.

Hopefully we get to practice that a little more, cause some people (me) forget what's next...often.

Not that hitting Skyler directly in the face with a trombone wouldn't be fun and all, but the thought of getting hit myself is not an interesting prospect.

Also, there is a guy from Duke who plays basketball and is now transfering to Michigan to play football.

Can you say desperate?

Anytime I make plans they fall through.

Anyone else have this problem?

8)

Thanks School

You basically just let me skip today.

Who the heck makes an assembly then doesn't tell anyone?

As much as I like skipping, its kind of really dumb that no one told anybody.

That's fine with me, I just get to go in at 11.

Then play pit, then play on a computer.

Hard day.

:P

Success!

I'm happy that you liked it.

I told you it was cheesy.

It was a lot of fun too.

That was a little close for comfort though.

;]

(that face still makes me think of a frog)

Maybe Vader Someday Later...

Contest doesn't really do anything for me.

I get to write down that I got another 1, but like the performance is nothing.

I wish that you had to perform in front of like a thousand people.

Now that would be something.

Maybe that'll come later.

I sure hope so, I've performed to an audience like that a few times, and its so epic.

Just the feeling that everyone in the room wants to hear you is really cool.

Maybe I'm weird.

Duh, of course I am, but that's not the point.

Ugh...I just want to be out of school. It's so very poopy.

Hopefully it works like I want it to. Only one thing can go wrong...oh wait several can, but that's the fun of it right?

:S

I sorry

8o

IIIIIIII...

don't think I'm going to say what I want to on here.

I feel like I'm restating myself.

DEEP BREATH.

I'll fix it, just give me a day, I gotsta round up my hoes and beat 'em down.

Or...you know, just let them know how to act.

No, biggy.

Very frustrating that I'm going to have to do this, but some people just don't understand what not to do.

Seriously...

I shake my head at the thought of your bone-headedness.

8/

Curse Word

Really?

$2,000

That's it?

I'm not entirely sure I can afford $9,000.

I don't like this prospect at all.

This makes me very not happy.

A lot not happy.

Like, the most not happy I've been in a while.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

X(

Dadgummit

I missed something.

I'm not sure what it was that I missed.

Why do I like playing CoD4 when it makes me so indescribebly angry...which in itself is a completely dumb phrase since I just described it.

Also, I'm not sure if that's how you spell indescribebly.

Why does 9 days feel like 29 years?

Oh...right, that's why.

I'm completely crazy for that girl.

My eyes hurts.

There is no need for the s at the end of that word.

Only a little more waiting.

:/

What Spring Break Means to Me

1. Sleeping in

2. Being bored

:S

Fitting...

Oh, dear.

It's been hardly three days

And I'm longing to feel your embrace

There are several days

Until I can see your sweet face.

:(

So, uh...

It's been a year since my father died.

A year since I lost probably the most influencial person in my life.

What bothers me is that I remember almost every second from getting home, up until the EMTs got there. After that it's splotchy.

I really wish that I could get it out of my head.

It feels like it was yesterday.

Don't worry about me though.

I know that God wanted it to happen that way, so it did.

It was supposed to.

You know, if he hadn't of died, we would be in some pretty serious financial trouble, I'm sure.

Today was fun though. Spent it mostly with my oldest brother flying...rather, trying to fly a kite.

For a while we had the plane put together wrong, but once we got it figured out, I had it flying for like 30 seconds or so...

Then it got stuck in a tree, so of course I decided to climb the tree to retrieve it...

2 and 1/2 hours, and a bunch of thorn cuts later, I have my kite.

I mean, come on it's a tri-plane kite, I'm not losing it to some crack pot tree.

Man, I miss you a lot.

Fun times, my brothers are just like me, so you can imagine what happens.

Like for serious.

A bunch.

[I'm talking about Brooke, not my father (missing him is kind of implied)]

(Like those double parenthesis?)

I should go to sleep, but video games sound way more fun.

:P

But Know-o, You Know Can Trust

It's truly amazing how backwards this is.

la di da

Lots of waiting this coming week.

I have a feeling that's all it's gonna be.

Poop.

From I first...

:S

Lmbatootyo

I'm embarrased.

There you go.

:\

For, Because of...

Either way...

I still want to.

It's the only thing that matters.

So scared...

really, I couldn't believe it.

More than myself.

More than myself.

Sitting, Waiting, Hoping, Wishing...

:(...

that's wrong

:')

Crap

I am extremely lazy.

That is no good at all.

Isn't there so catholic rule about being a sloth?

Like, it's the best thing to be...

that's it right?

:/

Um...

Agreed

=D

Today is awesome. Brooke is the most awesome person in the world. She is also the most beautifulist

Sheesh

What an absolutely terrible night.

>(

Oooo....

the irony.

:S

Also

The post before the one before this one, is actually 99, but blogger got a little confused, and told me it was 100...something about having random drafts I didn't even know I had.

But seriously...fun fun.

=D

Where are you?

Only to annoy you.

Oh...and uh...

So the whole my parent is dead joke on a teacher thing...

not all that funny.

Some people have that problem.

I can handle that sort of thing for a while, but like a 15 min discussion. that's pushing it just a tad.

But of course, as always, I understand where you're coming from, you don't really think about it all that much.

I don't blame you, I wish I had that problem.

Just uh...kinda keep a heads up who's around when you say certain things.

I could've blown up there, but I didn't, because it would've proved nothing, and I would've just gotten angry. So I sat there, and was a good little boy, and sucked it up...

But please...heads up.

...

Sooo much fun...stupid dog.

=D

Sort of wish number 100 had more to it

Sadly, it doesn't.

:/

Lmbo

She doesn't follow my blog anymore, I'm as sad as a kid on a rollercoaster.

Wait a minute, that kid wouldn't be sad at all...

We's strange.

So Brooke and Melissa, your church is...

fun.

The people are very fun to be around.

Now, I just have to get to know some of them so I can actually talk in our small group.

It's kinda awkward, for me at least, to say something of a religious sort in front of people I don't know.

Maybe I'm just weird.

Yea, that's it.

=P

WTFreak?!?

So I'm trying to respond to your blog Lindsay, but the verification thing is messed up.

It says for me to enter the letter as they appear, but the only letters are

Loading...

Then next to the place where you enter the letters as they appear...

is a handicap symbol.

You know the one of the stick figure in a wheelchair.

I don't understand.

So I'll put it here...

Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow?

:/

Fix You

Another good song.

But, for this occasion it's Fix Me.

As in I should try to Fix Me.

At least it's not constant I guess.

Oh and my mom actually did come home...

at 6:30 this morning.

Why is that just fine for adults to do, and yet if she was my age, she would be getting berrated for sleeping with him?

There is just as much of a chance of that happening, as there is of me liking Mr. uh...Ms. Erickson.

I hate double standards.

:/

I Found It

So I had this Coldplay song on my Zune that at the end of it had like 10 seconds of another song on it, and I always wanted that other song.

Thanks Ross!

Strawberry Swing is now my favourite song.

They were sitting
They were sitting in the Strawberry Swing
Every moment was so precious

They were sitting
They were talking in the Strawberry Swing
Everybody was for fightning
Wouldn't wanna waste a thing

Cold, cold water
Bring me round
Now my feet won't touch the ground
Cold, cold water
What ya say?

It's such
It's a such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day

I remember
We were walking up to Strawberry Swing
I can't till the morning
Wouldn't wanna change a thing

People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna curve away

It's such
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day

Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

Could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

Could be blue, could be grey
Without you I'm just miles away

The sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

On a different note...

You are such a bitch.

I feel no remorse at all.

I'm talking about you Brianna.

Thank you for proving just how little you are.

You've gone to Neighborhood for just soo long.

I completely understand where you get off.

Yeah right.

So far, you've done nothing to prove to me that you are not a trampy, little whore.

What with the hitting on me, and all of this behind closed doors thing you've got going on here.

I hope you read this and feel nothing at all about what I've said, it would just prove how nieve you truly are.

However, I will stop before I get totally out of hand.

I must not lower and debase myself to make you feel bad, enough other people will help me out with that.

Getting down to your level might be a tad difficult though.

Oh!

Another side note...

I really enjoy my girlfriend's company.

We are soo weird...

and awesome!

;D

Wow-ie

Lol.

It doesn't take much anymore...

You might ask, to do what?

And that's your prerogative.

:P

George Washington, Carver

Inventor of the first handful of peanuts.

8O

It Looks like the Hand is on the Other Foot

Sometimes...

Yup.

:/

Rusty's Brithday

I mean Valentine's Day.

Ha!

Just a way to get people to spend money, but with the economy the way it is, it probably isn't such a bad idea.

However, I think having a planned day to give someone a gift is dumb.

We have birthdays and Christmas for that.

I think it's much better to just randomly give a gift, much more of a surprise.

;)

There and There

This is how it's most likely always going to be.

Here and there, there and here.

Also, having a battery die is not cool.

I get to use my brother's phone until tuesday though, it's fancier.

Woot!

It's a blackberry I think...maybe, I dunno, it has internet though.

...Me too...

:/

Ha Ha

Restatement is fun.

1/8/09

:/

Ach!

I can't do anything!

I know you don't need the help, but I still feel like I need to give it.

It's my nature.

I say I don't worry.

That's usually about small stuff...(you shush)...

I don't know, it just bothers me that I can't do anything.

Get better.

=S

I Didn't

Want to say this while I was around you all...

But...

You should talk to your father Carrie.

That's how I was, just didn't talk a whole lot to him, sat in my room and played video games.

Or he would be in here on the computer working on whatever project he had.

And now, those times when he would come in and interrupt me are what I miss.

I can just sit in there and play all day and no one comes to bother me.

I wouldn't have ever thought I would miss that, but I do.

Just go and sit with him, or just be in the same room.

Hear his voice, soak it all up.

I'm happy that I'm the one who had this happen, I can handle it.

I can help now.

If I can gain any happiness from this, it's that I don't have to b the one trying console the person.

Thank you Ross, I don't know that I ever said anything to you about it, but you just sitting there, spending the night for however long you did, it truly did help.

I acted like it didn't, but it did, just having somebody there to be stupid with was a life saver.

I truly appreciate it.

On a side note, I like how the theme for a lot of people has been the title is part of the first line.

Hottub is always fun.

Forgetting is fun too.

That goes for everybody...not just Carrie.

She's just the one who said something.

Sorry, if I made you feel bad, you should really take my advice though.

:')

Coming up for air

We speak in silence
Words can break
It feels like we are falling awake
In a place, in a time of our own
Yeah yeah

I like songs that bring up neat concepts.

Sitting here playing video games, and a song comes on and I just stop playing and sit there.

Usually means it's a good song.

I died twice before I realized I wasn't moving.

Oh well.

I still went like 28 and 9.

Man I'm a huge dork.

It happens.

;)

It's 3:57

The time on this thingy-ma-bob always lies.

Anyways...I think it's funny that you block me from seeing your blog, yet continue to follow mine.

Kinda creepy stalkerish type thing going on there.

Argh!

Stupid people with their "rules."

Why does everyone take that as being awkward, when in all actuality it's most definetly not?

I did not spell actuality right.

Maybe it's actuallity, no, actualitty, I have no idea.

Weird.

*Sigh*

Sleep is good I guess.

If overrated.

:0

(yaaawwwn)

Hm...

I find it odd that a post I deleted got posted anyway.

Strange.

It's not about you there Vrooke.

Mostly.

;D

So Sad

All I can do is laugh and wonder.

How can people have their head so far up their ass that they can't see what's around them.

I'd really like to hear his side of the story.

Seems like a gigantic episode of clusterfuck. That's right a whole episode.

I don't understand where she gets off, thinking that she needs to be in the middle of all of this.

I just don't understand.

I'm extremely dissapointed in people.

All of them, except a select few.

The rest of you are all sad, pitiful fools who don't know the way up.

You claim to know you are right.

No one can do that, not even I can.

But, I'm pretty damn sure I know this one.

So very, very sad.

:'(

Ahem...(clears throat)

*Sigh*

Calm down people.

Please note this is to be read in a calm voice, I'm not mad, angry, stressed.

Just tired.

Yes, I agree with you all that Brianna has done, and said, some very stupid things.

I really can't forgive her, but I refuse to say hateful things to her.

Please don't take this as I want to be friends, or whatever, but if you have a question or something about SYS, I really don't mind answering it.

I would really like it if you guys would just breathe.

I'm right there with you, but it doesn't help anything to just yell back and forth, or be mean.

Also keep in mind that I'm talking to everyone.

I'm not mad at any of you, I'm just concerned.

Tensions are very high, and I really hate being stuck in the middle of my friends as they fall apart.

Just to be sure this is the side I'm on...

Brittany's.

On pretty much everything.

By the way Brittany, don't think that I expect you to stand in front to defend our side, I'll be there for that.

So everyone just take a deep breath and really contemplate what you do, or say, the things that come out of our mouths effect way more than just us.

I lied a minute ago. Only mostly refuse, sorry I'm human. Hate me.

My eyeballular devices hurt.

That's a side note which is totally unrelated, but they do.

I want...

(how do you make a guy shaking his head?)

:/

Stupid 'Ole Me

OMGoodness!!!!

This place is so freaking pointless!

If I only had band and jazz band I would be ok.

But seriously, whoneeds to sit in a room for an hour and a half watching a pointless movie, then go to another room and sit on the computer doing nothing for another hour and a half?

I can do that at home!

Plus, not have to be at home.

Anger!

It's so useless.

Who cares about good english, or knowing how to write in MLA?

Just ask google.

Skipping sounds like a terrific plan.

Lol.

Brittany, you made my day.

Funny, funny.

:)

I'd Rather

Have this pain than that pain.

:\

Anytime

I get a text I really want it to be from you.

It's a good thing we text a lot.

:/

Ha Ha

I found you out.

Or rather, you more or less told me.

;P

Opposites

Argh.

Does this to me.

:X

Gracious

That was...incredible.

Simple, awesome.

I like how it changed as it went on.

And neither of us have to wory about pressure, because we both feel the same.

I really enjoy this whole dating thing.

I'm so happy I'm back in Springfield.

All-State was fun, but I don't know...this was just better.

Lmbo, I don't know how you stayed signed in.

Carrie, I posted as Brooke on your blogger, so I figure I'll say it here.

I'm here, if you need someone to talk to, I know a thing or two about this kind of stuff.

Just give me a ring.

;)

Waiting...

Seems to be the theme for this week.

I just have to keep waiting for rehersal after rehersal.

I love them, but they are too long, and half the time I'm waiting for my turn to play because it's always another section that needs work.

Then, in between them, it's all boring waiting, sleeping, doing nothing.

There is a convention here with exhibits you can go see. Like music stuff, but they all suck, and the only french horns they have here are middle school ones that are terrible.

Argh!

Not much time left now...it's 12:11 so...like 5 hrs. Hopefully less.

The concert is in a couple hours, that should be fun. I love our music.

I wish you guys could come to this, dadgum competitions. With their getting in the way.

I'm happy you like Brooke so much.

Me too.

;)

Woah There...

I worried myself there for a minute.

Wow.

However, in the middle of all that I found something out about myself which makes me extremely happy.

No worries mate.

I'll always be here.

I had something here, but it didn't apply as I thought it did, so now it's gone.

Keep in mind...

don't be hypocritical, it really pisses me off.

Sometimes, I come off as a really big jerk.

Most likely because I am.

It happens.

Argh!

Mas o menos uno dio.

:(

lmfao

So I'm sitting here at Tan-Tar-A which is just a little ways outside of Lake of the Ozarks. It's a pretty nice resort.

Anywho...the only place there is free wi-fi is a bar next to the lobby.

The only people here right now are music teachers or people associated with music.

That being said the table next to me is full of drunk teachers.

This one lady just keeps singing very loud 70's songs.

OMGoodness, if only Mr. Bruner were here, his wife is, but I think she would be more of a mean drunk than funny.

Wow, I wish you guys could see this.

Friggin' hilarious.

Actually just one of you would be enough.

;)

A Reason

Well, that title isn't right.

More like reasons.

Clingy, deceptive, backstabbing, awkward, way different behind closed doors, and annoying.

You act so differently in person, then say mean things behind backs, that's probably the main one.

You try to move in when everyone knows what's going to happen. Doesn't make any sense to me.

Hate me if you want to, I could really not care any less.

I can find other people.

I already know I'm a jerk, so telling people after you read this that I'm a jerk won't do you any good.

I miss you already, and what, it's been like two days.

College is going to suck then.

Well, almost.

All-State is very tiring, three hour rehersals blow.

Waking up at 6:45 to play for an hour and then have a three hour break doesn't make any sense.

But, I'd do it everyday of my life.

Back to the beginning again, sorry.

Fake, Fake, Fake.

Maybe you and Icky should hook up...

Oh God! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little there.

That makes my stomach all jubbly.

*sigh*

Beatles...

I wanna hold your ha-a-and.

/0

(more yawning)

Crossed Statistics

Tonight was a piece of shit.

Mostly.

Fuck me.

Not in the sex way.

God damn you hottub cover, no one likes you anyways.

I did let my cat back in, but part of me hopes she dies right now.

Seriously? Fucking shitting in the floor?

What the fuck kind of animal does that?

She spent like fucking 6 years in a house. She knows better.

FUCK!

It was all building up to be so good. But no.

What's worse is tomorrow I have to write a whole essay.

It's good that it's something I have feelings about so it won't be too terrible.

I'm so very angry at myself right now.

It's nobody's fault but my own that that fucking cover broke.

Sorry to have to make you, Corey and Luke, help like that. Thank you so much.

At least I have some money saved.

Only two things saved me tonight.

Wednesday evening and you.

I'm so happy we chose this path.

Deep breath...and...

into tomorrow.

:{

(i need one getting smacked directly in the face)

Ever...

Feel like something has become a fad?

That there seems to be more and more people wanting to be on the inside?

It happens.

They'll get over it and we'll still be here.

I hope that's true.

I hope I'm we'll and not they'll.

I'll do it for you.

Why do I have to be stuck home?

Brittany come get us with your big truck!

:0

(i'm shouting)

*Sigh*

You bother me Ms. Gets Me Addicted to Stuff.

:S

Brittany's

Oh my goodness.

So I found out that if you can get the number of girls to outweigh the number of guys, they totally change.

Well, some of them change, others you just find out how funny they are.

However, sometimes you find a group that is quite different than you might expect.

They get way funnier, way rowdier, and a lot more sexual.

Better watch out for those gelatin penises. They'll getcha.

Holy cow, that was histerical. And fun too.

Like, I can't really get over it, awesome.

Also...

It's really crazy how cool that was.

It's neat how such a little thing like that could hold so much value.

It seems that just that little bit of contact can contain everything that you feel.

That was probably my favouritest part.

Fun fun.

Just don't touch him, a little pelvic thrust never killed anyone.

:o

Hmpf

Well that certainly didn't last.

It's like you think you need to be manly in front of your friends, but then sweet around girls.

How about being yourself all the time?

That works really well.

Just try it and see where that gets you.

>:(

You know?

If you actually do that, then there is more than hope for you.

I pray that you do half the things you say.

You might get back some of what you lost in all that mess.

Now...

I really like this.

New

Different

Awesome

=D

I told you

Just wait.

But now that's over now isn't it?

;)

Fits the Seams

It's hard to argue when
You won't stop making sense
But my toungue still misbehaves
And it keeps digging my own grave

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Why would I sabotage
The best thing that I have?
Well it, makes it easier to know
Exactly what I want

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

Put Sufjan Stevens on
And we'll play your favorite song
Chicago bursts to life
And your sweet smile remembers you

With my hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
____________________________________________________

It repeats.

B)

Lol

Do, don't

Yes, no

There, gone

Hi, bye

Hidden, seen

Forgotten, heard

Waiting, acting

Silence, buzz

Just you wait.

;D

Time, Time

Can't find the time.

That light is out. But thus is mine?

I cannot but seem to look into,

the eyes of what is said be true.

I lack the time to call upon

an age of which I'm set upon.

The line of purpose I have yet attained

is that which keeps all thought stained.

I pray that now I can find the right

and reach the end of mine dreadful plight.
____________________________________________________

The words to say what's right seem to always run from me.

I feel the same, but with a different color.

It makes me want to cry sometimes.

You just wait.

:P

Hypocrites

There are so many of them.

And it seems half of them don't even know it.

I'm talking about more than one subject here.

They're the pits.

o)

(ahh! it's cyclops!)

O My Goodness

You guys write so much.

I'm gone for what...two days, and I have to read like 80 million blogs.

Well, I guess I didn't have to, but where's the fun in that?

Kansas City was fun, we rehearsed like 12 hours in 2 and a half days so I'm worn out, but oh well.

That was a lot of music in a short time.

I wish the people would've been of a higher quality, it wasn't all I had hoped it would be.

Tonight should be fun, I think its going to be me and like 6 girls.

How does that always happen?

I have no idea, maybe if all the guy friends I had weren't douche bags or idiots, or...

just plain creepy.

You just wait, I can't find the time.

Ha! Riddles are fun.

(wish I could make a yawning face.)

/0

(there it is, it took me several tries.)

What would that change?

Tell me, I'm retarded on this subject.

:\

Ok?

Ha!

No it's not ok, but I don't know what to do.

I lied to you by the way, I was doing something in particular.

I was having a debate with myself.

Which I had and have been having since like October, and my answer has pretty much stayed the same.

Yet I continue to argue with myself.

I have to leave. To do what I want to do I can't learn it here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to be happy.

Do what you want to do.

You are entirely correct, I do want to get close to you.

But what happens when I'm in Kansas City?

Nothing?

Then what the hell are we dancing around it for?

Or does the distance make the difference I think it will?

If so, then stay away from me.

I'm not worth the pain that it could cause, I'll guarantee it.

I'll always be right here though.

Just on the other side of the phone.

Lol, I really can't say it, that's so pathetic.

And, it really destroys me, this whole predicament.

The thing that bothers me the most is that it bothers you.

I wish I knew what to do, but I just don't. I've been thinking on it for like four hours straight and I still have nothing.

I can't believe the one I want to answer the most is the one I just can't answer.

(I have no face)

Ok

Um...

I don't know what to say.

You make me happy.

Sorry you always hurt yourself.

Am I talking about the same person?

Yup, but not for the same reasons.

But also no.

I'm so happy SYS started up again, I missed that dearly.

Screw pepband, mostly, not all the way, kinda wanna leave something to the imagination.

Oh, and my mom and her boyfriend are asleep on our couch.

Now I understand why she doesn't come home until 3.

I should wake them up, but what the heck would I say...

"Hi! It's time to wake up!"

"Hey you two, take it easy over there!"

"Did you want to go home tonite?"

I think I'll stick with...

"Hey, time for bed."

I feel like such a responsible adult.

Oh, and also, I bad at talking.

(the grammatical error is on purpose.)

And that's how you whisper in text.

So I almost yelled at Ms. Erickson in the middle of class. Like stood up and began yelling.

I understand I talk a lot and do...whatever it is that pisses teachers off, but seriouslyto just blatently deny me and Ross a chance to make up the assignment.

First of all, I did it, I know cause I fucking cheated off Jacob.
Second, I did come and talk to you about it.
Third, Cullen, or somebody got the work from you for me.
Fourth, why did Carrie get credit for the assignment when she didn't do it, and she even admits that.
Fifth, I'm so happy I get you for another semester, because I'm going to make it a living hell, and all while getting an A just to spite you...

I'll save the massive amounts of insults for myself, or ask me in person if you enjoy hearing cursing.

I'm very not happy about this episode of clusterfuck, thank you Corey for the very tasteful descriptive word.

A whole episode of it, man that's a lot of bad.

I HATE ENGLISH.

Espanol es muy bueno.

>:(

Another Song!!

Open with guitar solo...

more solo...

OHHHH!!!(really high pitched)

I really hate school!

End.

Also...

If he's gonna draw on me again, first again I'm gonna shoot him in his toodles!

:,0

(I'm laughing so hard I'm crying)

It always has to be me

No other way.

{:-/

Y.A.N.A

You Are Not Alone.

It's a pretty cool ministry.

Started by a guy who goes to the church I go to every now and then. Little did I know for a while that he started this whole thing because of me.

Pretty cool feeling, though I'm still not sure I did anything. He said it's because of a church trip we took a while back.

His father passed away in a car accident a little over a year ago now, and on this trip is where he found out about my father. He told me something along the lines of, when he heard that he realized that he wasn't alone, and that gave him a lot of hope. So he wanted to make other people feel this way, and so began y.a.n.a.

He asked me to write the story of when my father passed away, and how God helped me through it.

So here it is...

Hello to all who may be reading this. My name is Chris Williams, I live in Springfield, MO. About three months from now it will have been a year since my father passed away. I had known Ashton Owens for awhile, and about his father, but I had never really talked to him. Then on a church trip, he found out about my father, and he decided to start this whole thing, I feel very honored to think that he might have used me to reach any of you who he has indeed reached.

This is my story...

It's March, and time for Spring Break again, and even better we have a band trip planned. Me being the huge band geek I am, I'm thoroughly excited about it. However, we leave early that morning, and my dad finally gets the chance to sleep in, so I don't get to see him that morning. Oh well, this trip is gonna be tons of fun.

Indeed it was, we went to Nashville, Tennessee, and I had a great time. We traveled all over the city, seeing this, that, and the other things. I talk to my mom on the phone usually every night, give her the recap of what was going on. The usual mom stuff.

The days pass, and eventually the time comes for the return trip. So we board the bus and start heading home. We get a little ways into Illinois and all of a sudden I get a call from my father. He wants to know when I'll be home, and he tells me that my mother will be there to pick me up. Which, confuses me since they were supposed to be leaving on a trip of their own. He tells me that he's come down with the flu and he doesn't feel like going anywhere, so they're just going to stay home for now.

So we talk on a little longer about, oh I don't remember at all. But I remember clear as day the last thing he says to me.

"I'll let you get back to your friends."
"Okie dokey, I'll talk to you later."
"I love you son."
"I love you too dad, bye."
"Good bye son."

Those were the last words I heard my father tell me. I don't think I could've picked better words. It all seemed so final, I hardly ever say good-bye, it just doesn't fit, but there it just seemed like I was supposed to say that.

We get home, and my mother comes and picks me up, we take the short three minute drive home, and I start unpacking. I call for my dad, but he doesn't answer, I look down the hall and the bathroom door is shut, my mom says he's had the flu, so I just think, maybe he's throwing up. He's making these noises, but I do the exact same thing when I feel like I'm going to throw up, and in every other way I'm basically my father, so I don't think anything of it.

About 15 min. pass and I'm sitting there on the couch watching Titanic, and my mother goes to the door to check on Dad. He doesn't answer he knocks, and he's not making noise any more, so she tries to open the door, she pushes very hard, my father was not a very small man, and she finds him collapsed on the floor.

I'll never forget her scream, I jumped about twenty feet into the air I think and run for the phone. My hands are shaking so bad as I attempt to dial 911, I have to try twice to finally get it right. Then the wait for a person, she answers, I wish I could remember her name, but I was a little distracted, and yet calm, I know that what will be will be. The lady tells us to start CPR and takes all of our information and tells us help is on the way.

Of course it seems like it takes forever, but I'm sure it wasn't that long, my mother and I eventually switch spots, but nothing seems to change, he's turned purply, and he's not responding to us at all. The paramedics finally get there, and they take over, but my mother can't leave, so it's up to me to call my brothers and tell them what's happened.

They are 25 and 27, but they both live in town. I'm very calm when I call them, I don't know really what kept me so calm for all of this. I just kept praying for strength and peace, and the Lord granted it. It seemed like I knew everything would be fine, that it would all work out like it was supposed to. After all it is His plan.

Sometimes, I think that it's my fault that my father died, I heard him making those noises and maybe if I had tried the door, he would've been ok.

But I didn't, and I can't take that back, but maybe I didn't answer the door because I wasn't supposed to. Since my father has passed my faith has only grown, I've done a lot more things to learn more about His word. I know that my father passed for a reason, and I know that the reason will be shown to me in due time.

All of us who feel pain only have to look up to see relief. Just remember that it will all be worth it, keep your faith, there are others just like you who lost someone they love. Believe in the Lord and he will show you where to go, and what to do.

You Are Not Alone.

Thank you for reading this, and may you always look for God, because He will always look for you.

:)

I always seem to make you mad

It's 2009.

Why?

I don't really want to go back any, just stop going forward.

Oh, wait.

That's a lie, let's wait a little bit, then stop time.

Ya, sounds good.

Tonite's basketball game was awesome fun. All around good time, I love losing my voice for a retarded reason.

Well, as long as it's with people who aren't total idiots, makes it more fun.

However, tonite's football game went exactly as I thought it would.

CHOKE!

Every year.

I'm beginning to expect it out of them now.

Just my luck, I pick the teams that like to almost win, and then completely fail. They give you that glimmer of hope, just dangle it out in front of you, and then run away with it.

My gums hurt, and I hate dentists.

'nuf said.

:X

Happy Birthday?

Yea, it wasn't too bad.

Sorry my mom woke you up with that text, she's a little bit...

...

...

funny. Not in a bad way necessarily, just in a sort of out there way sometimes.

However, thanks to all who mentioned it to me, it's good to know that even though you might only know it's my birthday because someone shouted it out in band, that you still care enough to say it to me anyways.

Now, you guys are very, extremely lucky to have me as a partner.

Goodness gracious I do almost all the work everytime.

You used to at least ask if you could help, but now it's just another of those expectation that, "Oh Chris will get it done, he always does."

Maybe I should just start my own group and leave you guys out to dry.

Man my headaches.

And I really, ridiculously miss that...not the headaches.

Aha! Brittany, just another riddle for you to solve, I can tell how much you like them.

They're probably not all that you would expect though.

Oh, and sitting on a saddle in the middle of a resturant while everyone there shouts, "YEE-HAW!" is pretty hilarious.

At least I can say I'm legal now.

Anyone for porn, cigarettes, or a lotto ticket?

Well, too bad cause those are disgusting, killing, and a waste of money.

So there!

B/

3 for 4?

Perhaps.

Wait.

Crap.

That means I don't have a perfect score, and I couldn't be happier.

Well, about that at least.

Ever feel like you're in like the middle season of a show?

You know, the crappy one where nothing happens. It's just the same stuff over and over again.

Nothing is building, and nothing is breaking apart.

It's just kind of...there.

Ever feel like that?

No?

Yeah, me neither, but it's a fun idea right?

Anywho...

Money can't buy direct happiness, just things that make you happy.

I don't know about you, but playing Fable is pretty darn fun.

Or is it the people who are there when you're playing Fable that make it fun?

Hm...

mysterious.

The pants I'm wearing have tire tread marks and I don't know how they got there.

I'm pretty sure I didn't get run over by a very tiny car. But stranger things have happened.

Should I?

Oh, that's fun.

You guys should answer. It'll be fun.

I can't wait, actually that's not true at all.

I can wait.

=\

4 for 4

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurt?

Wished with all of your being that you could just have that one thing?

And yet, known that it wouldn't happen.

That it would just get stripped away from you.

I suppose it's my own doing that caused it.

It always is.

But, I have to be difficult.

Boring.

I don't think that it will be possible, so maybe I should change.

Nah, who likes change anyway?

Perhaps I'm overreacting.

But, it seems that what has happened several times before has again occured.

I should go in with this as my expectation.

Maybe, it'll help, doubt it.

But maybe.

Try the truth, that solves many problems.

It causes others ones though, but maybe those are worth the ones you solve.

:(

Damn

I'm sorry if I sounded mad, I really didn't mean to.

I was a jerk though.

Again, I'm sorry for that too.

Be mad at me if that's what you want to do, I completely understand.

But, I'll still be here.

X(

Thinking, Thinking

Guess I'll just give up.

:/